the Mentally Oddcast Transcript: Amanda Morin
Find more from Amanda Morin at www.amandamorin.com
Find the audio of this episode here.
00:00:00.93
Wednesday Lee Friday
You are listening to the Mentally Oddcast. My name is Wednesday Lee Friday, and we are sponsored by Sometimes Hilarious Horror Magazine. Do find us on Ko-Fi. That's K-O-F-I.
00:00:13.47
Wednesday Lee Friday
This week, we have Amanda Morin. and Amanda Morin is a neurodivergence and neurodiversity activist. Actually, I said that wrong. She is neurodivergent, and she is also a neurodiversity activist.
00:00:27.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
Two different things that go well together. um She is an award-winning author of six books, um an early childhood and behavioral specialist, and a nationally known speaker dedicated to fostering inclusive environments for neurodivergent individuals.
00:00:44.29
Wednesday Lee Friday
She provides neurodiversity-affirming coaching for parents and students. Welcome, Amanda.
00:00:51.39
Amanda Morin
Thank you Thanks for having me.
00:00:52.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
I am so glad you could be here.
00:00:52.88
Amanda Morin
Yeah. yeah
00:00:54.88
Wednesday Lee Friday
um Before we get into the heavy stuff, um we do like to ask our guests to tell us about the first horror movie that they remember seeing. So, please, let's hear it.
00:01:06.02
Amanda Morin
Sure. Well, there's two answers to that question, actually. So i grew up in Bangor, Maine, where Stephen King is from, right? So I remember seeing the premiere of Firestarter in my town, right?
00:01:13.28
Wednesday Lee Friday
hu
00:01:21.08
Amanda Morin
So they did the premiere of Firestarter at the the Opera House in downtown Bangor. Of course, I was about...
00:01:26.00
Wednesday Lee Friday
How old were you?
00:01:27.16
Amanda Morin
Oh, I was like five. I was the same age as Drew Barrymore, who was in the movie, right? So I don't remember going in and seeing the movie, but i remember seeing like all of the hubbub around it.
00:01:31.55
Wednesday Lee Friday
right
00:01:37.01
Amanda Morin
um The first movie I recall actually watching was The Exorcist. That's my first horror movie. um And i think as I got older and I watched Firestarter, I wished I remembered Firestarter more than I wished I remembered The Exorcist.
00:01:53.96
Amanda Morin
Um...
00:01:56.21
Wednesday Lee Friday
but But two movies about terrifying little girls.
00:01:56.30
Amanda Morin
Very different, right?
00:01:59.56
Amanda Morin
Yeah, no kidding, right? ah know. Although you could go like powerful little girls too. I know one way or the other, right? That's, yeah.
00:02:05.62
Wednesday Lee Friday
that Yeah, that is true. And how powerful girls or girls with power tend to have a difficult time of it.
00:02:12.85
Amanda Morin
True, true, true.
00:02:13.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
Even even if they're extremely well-meaning.
00:02:16.71
Amanda Morin
Yes, and horrifying in all the ways that horror movies make them horrifying, which, you know, it's probably an allegory somehow somehow that I can't put together at the moment. But um so two different answers, but like they're kind of fun, right?
00:02:30.69
Amanda Morin
Like it's it's fun to have seen one come to life right around me. um Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:36.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, absolutely. Well, i'm I'm from Michigan, so the Evil Dead is from here. So that's that's the horror movie that that we always hear about.
00:02:42.44
Amanda Morin
Oh, nice.
00:02:45.05
Wednesday Lee Friday
and Well, and the thing is, I don't actually like Evil Dead. Well, when I was was told about it as a kid, I was told, hey, there's a zombie zombie movie coming out, and it's from some guys from Michigan.
00:02:57.84
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah.
00:02:58.29
Wednesday Lee Friday
And it was treated like it was the most amazing thing in the world that these young people... had were able to make movies and i mean yeah that's cool i'm not gonna say it's not cool but as we know today it's not so much that young people didn't know how to make movies and that was just so amazing that they were able to do that it's because they're they had parents that could afford to buy them movie cameras in a time before cell phones because now that everybody has a movie quality camera we see i mean the cat with hands is better than the evil dead for heaven's sake so uh
00:03:24.82
Amanda Morin
Totally.
00:03:33.47
Amanda Morin
That's true. Yeah, yeah.
00:03:34.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
Plus, you know, the the tree. and I've never been a fan of the tree. I've never seen why it was necessary. It's so, so, so exploitive. And and it's not even about zombies.
00:03:45.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
So...
00:03:46.06
Amanda Morin
No, no, that's the that's the part where I get stuck. It's not about zombies, right? Like, and that's, that's I don't know. I do think that there's something nice about being able to say, like, there's some connection to where I grew up where, you know, with the movies, but also like, you want to be able to say, and I really appreciate the movie that has some connection to where I grew up, right?
00:04:04.96
Amanda Morin
There's sort of a, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:05.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep. Yep. Well, and then It Follows came out, and It Follows is all about Detroit. I mean, there's like commercials that I remember from being little in that movie, so
00:04:15.65
Amanda Morin
isn't that Isn't that wild? I i mean, i think a lot of the Stephen King movies are like that too. So for example, um The Stand, right? If you think of of the, no, The Stand is one of them and then and then Stand By Me also.
00:04:28.18
Amanda Morin
um There are pieces that were written in that have names of places in Maine that got left in the movie because people didn't know they were actual places. So like they talk about Am High and Stand By Me.
00:04:38.13
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh,
00:04:39.50
Amanda Morin
which is really a um ah hospital in Augusta. But I don't think anybody knew it was an actual name of a hospital at the time. So I watched the movie. I'm like, whoa they went where?
00:04:50.76
Amanda Morin
You know, it's just, it's kind of a cool thing to to be able to recognize your own surroundings. Although it can be terrifying too at the same time in horror movies.
00:04:59.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, absolutely.
00:04:59.80
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:04:59.90
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, you know, my my husband is from Philadelphia and a lot of movies are made there. So every time we watch Trading Places, he's like, oh, look, that's such and such thing. That's that sculpture from bla blah, blah.
00:05:12.30
Amanda Morin
I love that people do that.
00:05:12.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, OK.
00:05:13.42
Amanda Morin
I'm not the only one that does that. That makes me happy.
00:05:16.97
Wednesday Lee Friday
I don't know if that's a neurodivergence thing or not. Yeah.
00:05:20.38
Amanda Morin
I think it may be. think it may be.
00:05:23.63
Wednesday Lee Friday
It could be, but you know, i think the more time I spend on this show talking about neurodivergence, it makes me wonder if that's even a thing.
00:05:35.18
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, I understand that some people do not fit the the common mold, but like, is there a common mold or do we all just not fit it differently?
00:05:36.70
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:05:44.42
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because it seems like when people talk about neurodivergence in any capacity, it's about how that condition impacts people who do not have it as opposed to describing what the condition actually is. You know what i mean?
00:06:01.78
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:06:01.90
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like hyperactivity disorder, for example, is like, we need you to sit in this classroom for eight hours and you can't do it. What is wrong with you? And the answer could very well be, look, man, nobody's supposed to be sitting here for eight hours.
00:06:15.28
Wednesday Lee Friday
Why are you even making us do that?
00:06:15.63
Amanda Morin
Well.
00:06:16.84
Wednesday Lee Friday
So we don't have to enter the workforce. Yeah.
00:06:18.93
Amanda Morin
Totally, totally. Well, and you know, it's interesting because the work that I do, i do, I flip it, right? I'm, I'm, I'm talking about how the way that your brain processes information or like interacts with the world actually impacts you.
00:06:31.30
Amanda Morin
But the way I look at it from that perspective is like, why is the world not set up for all kinds of brains, as opposed to
00:06:37.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:06:38.60
Amanda Morin
Right, which is that that like, yeah, nobody sits for eight hours straight and feels good about it, right? Like we don't we don't expect that of adults. um Expecting of kids is is hard. So I think for me, when I look at like neurodiversity affirming, it's about like how do we make the world fit all kinds of brains better? And I think in that regard, we probably wouldn't see as many people who say like neurodivergence is actually impacting them.
00:07:04.84
Amanda Morin
They can say it's like part of their lives, right? and there is impact but yeah now I hear I hear you I think that there's there's value to think I also think there's a self-selection component of things right so people who have special like interest in specific kinds of things may kind of group together because they really like talking to each other i think I find that when I'm like talking to people for podcasts or for you know actually talk to people everywhere so like in airports wherever you know um
00:07:33.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:07:34.26
Amanda Morin
I wonder sometimes how much of that's just like our brains are just connecting on a different level and we're like, hey, we actually can talk because we do this well because our brains think in the same kind of way.
00:07:47.94
Wednesday Lee Friday
I think, yeah, that absolutely. And I think that like communication style is, is so important because sometimes I'll meet someone and I know that I've been told that they have one of my core interests.
00:07:55.84
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:08:02.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
But like for whatever reason, and it's happened to me on the show, like our so our styles just don't jibe. Like sometimes it's because I'm like not remembering something really obvious.
00:08:13.29
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:13.74
Wednesday Lee Friday
I had a ah person on the show who has ah dwarfism.
00:08:18.73
Amanda Morin
Mm-hmm.
00:08:18.92
Wednesday Lee Friday
And ah they're they're young. They're like mid-20s. And I asked them ah you know what their favorite Billy Barty movie was. It's like, first of all, that's probably offensive to people with dwarfism.
00:08:30.01
Wednesday Lee Friday
But also, what 20-year-old is watching Billy Barty movies?
00:08:33.77
Amanda Morin
No kidding, right? So, yeah.
00:08:36.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
that's like, okay, that's me. That's a me thing. But other times, it's like, I don't... Like I, you want to talk to someone, but they're expecting something like, i don't know, eye contact that that I may or may not be able to muster.
00:08:49.41
Amanda Morin
Oh, yeah. And I'm the person who'll just be like, you're not going to get that from me.
00:08:57.70
Amanda Morin
Which is, which I mean, maybe either my best or worst quality, depending on who you're talking to. Right. But I, you know, I'm just the one who's going to say like, hang on a second.
00:09:14.34
Amanda Morin
Sorry, i had a microphone issue there, which I'm just going to name out loud there for a minute. um You know, I'm the person who's just going to tell you what you get is this kind of what you get. And if you need something different, I'll see if I can figure that out in terms of communication.
00:09:29.01
Amanda Morin
But otherwise, we're apply we we'll either muddle through or we won't, you know, kind of.
00:09:33.61
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and, you know, a lot of people say, well, why do I even need a diagnosis? I'm doing just fine. And that is such a huge part of it is that clarity of, you know, I'm not able to do this.
00:09:42.51
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:45.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
So don't get mad every time that doesn't happen. Just know in advance that these things will not be happening.
00:09:51.29
Amanda Morin
Right, right. And I think there's a validation in being able to say there's a reason for this as opposed to just not feeling it, right? um You know, and I know plenty of people will say there's something behind, there's just not feeling it. And I think that's true, but sometimes we're not just, we're just not feeling it.
00:10:06.16
Amanda Morin
But being able to say like, I literally can't do eye contact because I'm going to get so distracted by trying to do eye contact that I can't keep the rest of the conversation going has value, right? To be able to say like,
00:10:19.90
Amanda Morin
My nervous system literally can't handle that um is is something that I think has value and being able to say like, and I have a diagnosis that explains that is very helpful to some people.
00:10:30.59
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:10:31.72
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, yeah, well it's certainly been helpful to me. um I've been misdiagnosed and and not diagnosed as I should have been like every step along the way.
00:10:34.83
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:10:41.59
Wednesday Lee Friday
And so every time I have one of those, oh, well for heaven's sake, why didn't someone tell me that when I was six 12 or 20, know?
00:10:45.69
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:10:50.59
Wednesday Lee Friday
you know
00:10:50.60
Amanda Morin
I know. i know. I feel very similarly.
00:10:52.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
But once you know it, yeah, it's it's so helpful to say like, oh, I'm not lazy.
00:10:54.90
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:11:00.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm not just forgetful. Like there are reasons that all of these things happen and I can take steps to mitigate them because I understand why they're taking place.
00:11:11.19
Amanda Morin
Right, right, right. And I, you know, and I think that misdiagnosis thing happens to a lot of us along the way too. um And, and so our reasons change over time, even though they, they really don't.
00:11:24.36
Amanda Morin
I don't know. That's like, that's not very clear, but it feels like sometimes you're like, well, that doesn't feel like the right reason. And then you get to the right diagnosis and you're like, that's the right reason.
00:11:34.15
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:11:34.20
Amanda Morin
That makes sense.
00:11:35.03
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:11:35.00
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:11:35.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:11:35.68
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:38.72
Wednesday Lee Friday
So I know that your most recent book is about meeting the needs of neurodiverse students in schools, which is huge. um Our current secretary of education, ah Secretary McMahon, how how do you think she's doing on that issue?
00:11:55.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
And then we pause to laugh. Yeah.
00:11:57.96
Amanda Morin
Can I pass on that question?
00:12:00.20
Wednesday Lee Friday
You can. and You can. um if you If you don't want a bad mouth or good mouth Secretary McMahon, that's that's a choice you could make.
00:12:01.62
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:12:08.02
Amanda Morin
I think the choice I would make is say I really don't have enough information on what's happening in in her realm, right? And that's probably tells you a lot there too.
00:12:19.91
Amanda Morin
um Not well, I would say not well, based on a lot of the the budget cuts and the things that we're seeing for education, the money that didn't get released recently for programs for students who who really need extra support.
00:12:33.42
Amanda Morin
um I don't feel like... I don't feel like what's happening on an administrative level is is actually matching up what's happening on a societal level, which is really interesting to me.
00:12:44.64
Amanda Morin
Because like, societally...
00:12:46.04
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, that's how, that's that's what the rise of fascism is, when the government says, yeah, we know none of you want this, but this is what we're doing.
00:12:50.77
Amanda Morin
i know
00:12:53.38
Wednesday Lee Friday
and
00:12:53.93
Amanda Morin
I know, i know. And it's sad to me in so many ways, sad, angering. Like, I don't know. I have all the emotions. I can't even like muster the words for all of them. We're just hitting this point where people are talking about neurodivergence and disability and like taking some of that stigma down a little bit.
00:13:14.80
Amanda Morin
And here we are again, right?
00:13:15.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:13:16.62
Amanda Morin
So that's that so frustrating to me. um one of the things that's been really nice about the book is seeing that people are willing to take it into their own hands and do some grassroots work in schools has been really enjoyable. And a lot of it's been because we see teachers who are like, I see myself in this, right?
00:13:35.14
Amanda Morin
This is the schooling that I wanted to have for myself. And now I can provide it for the students who are around me. um It would be really nice if we had administrative support, if we had, you know, financial support for those kinds of things. But In the meantime, information will probably just have to be passed on. Hopefully we can keep passing it on, not through like back channels, right?
00:13:59.33
Wednesday Lee Friday
So for people that are not involved in education, why would it cost more money to be more aware of neurodiverse students? Like, why is there a ah cost associated with that?
00:14:11.81
Amanda Morin
Well, I mean, i think I think there are two answers to that question also, right? In some ways, there's not, right? In some ways, it's a matter of how do you set up what you do differently, right? Are you setting up your classroom or your education setting differently so like you have spaces that are less lit for for people who have trouble with bright lights or places that are um calmer for people who need less distractions or that you're actually naming out loud that there are different communication needs and different communication styles.
00:14:21.53
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm hmm.
00:14:42.01
Amanda Morin
There's a lot of things that can be done that don't actually cost a lot of money. What does cost money are specialized programs, right? So like specialized instruction for special education teachers teaching students who need additional instruction or things like occupational therapy or speech therapy. So that funding all comes under special education funding.
00:15:03.90
Amanda Morin
um And that costs additional money. And then the funding that I'm most, I don't know, I think devastated is probably the word, the most devastated about not being available right now is professional development funding, right?
00:15:16.73
Amanda Morin
So that's a big part of it, is we have to be able to educate teachers to do things differently.
00:15:17.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:15:23.17
Amanda Morin
And they want to, but if there's no money to teach them, then they are doing it out of pocket, right? And that's, I don't know, I have big feels about that.
00:15:32.72
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and my understanding is that teachers already do a whole lot out of pocket and that the pockets are not very deep to begin with because they're not making great money.
00:15:41.70
Amanda Morin
Oh, this is true. and You know, and like I'm a, ah right now I, you know, I am not a classroom teacher. I'm a director of academic services at a high school for students who are completely neurodivergent, which means I'm in charge of sort of professional development and teaching. But I was a classroom teacher for a number of years. And um my pockets were scotch taped together because I was trying to, you know,
00:16:06.36
Amanda Morin
But I had to go buy the scotch tape to scotch tape them together, you know, all of those things at the same time. um There's a, you know, teachers invest really heavily in their classrooms and their students. They don't invest as heavily in their own professional development because that's like the last thing they think of, not because they don't want it, but because they're so invested in making sure their students have everything they need.
00:16:31.40
Amanda Morin
um And I think that's where we fall down. And that's what I'm most upset about seeing kind of disappear from the radar is the money to help teachers be better teachers.
00:16:43.27
Wednesday Lee Friday
Now, presuming that you and I don't know anything that the general public don't know, um how do you feel about the suggestion that the government, the current government, doesn't want us to be smart?
00:16:58.65
Wednesday Lee Friday
They don't want to teach critical thinking. They don't want to teach diversity. um You know, just just in general, when they say that we're we're making ah America great again, we're going back to a time where, like, men ran things and you know, white culture was culture and everybody else was a specialty culture, like that sort of thing.
00:17:19.63
Wednesday Lee Friday
I mean, do do you see that as being like one big thing? I think it's pretty obvious that I do. Anybody who listens to the show, but I don't want to just like throw that opinion at you and be like, right.
00:17:25.12
Amanda Morin
I do too. Yeah.
00:17:30.84
Wednesday Lee Friday
But I mean, do do you think there's something there?
00:17:31.87
Amanda Morin
I mean, right. i do. I absolutely do. you know And I i think like if you look at the sum of things that are being disappeared or coming under attack, it's the things that create an educated society that can fight back against the rise of fascism.
00:17:48.02
Amanda Morin
right like um
00:17:49.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:17:50.41
Amanda Morin
I feel like that might be the first time I've actually put that sentence so coherently together, but because usually I'm walking around my house ranting and raving and using all the swear words around it. But You know, you get rid of education, get rid of social systems, you get rid of all of these things that make people willing to ask questions.
00:18:10.36
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah, I think that's absolutely what's happening. um And so I think it's it's up to those of us who are who are critical thinkers to continue asking the questions and teaching other people how to think more critically, um which is a huge responsibility, but worthwhile.
00:18:29.52
Wednesday Lee Friday
Have you heard anybody say that we didn't have all these diagnoses 50 years ago? That we didn't know people were, you know, nobody was autistic, nobody had ADHD.
00:18:36.46
Amanda Morin
Oh, 100%.
00:18:41.51
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, what what would you say to that?
00:18:42.58
Amanda Morin
oh a hundred percent
00:18:46.75
Amanda Morin
I would say ah couple of things. The first I would say is we literally didn't have some of those diagnoses 50 years ago. So that's a truth, right? But I would also say it doesn't mean that the people who now would qualify for those diagnoses didn't exist, right?
00:18:57.36
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:19:03.27
Amanda Morin
So those are two really important things to look at together. The other thing I would say is, you know, the word quirky went really far for a long time, right? People were quirky. They were a little sort of, you know, not quite what you would expect.
00:19:18.22
Amanda Morin
So saw eccentric, eccentric.
00:19:18.65
Wednesday Lee Friday
Eccentric is is a word But I think you have to be rich to be eccentric
00:19:20.63
Amanda Morin
yeah
00:19:23.01
Amanda Morin
I think so too. I think that's where I live. you know like That's why I go to quirky because quirky is a you know ah maybe a 10 cent word instead of a...
00:19:29.20
Wednesday Lee Friday
little more universal, yeah
00:19:30.48
Amanda Morin
Yeah. But I also think that um people are talking about increase in diagnosis. What they're not paying attention to is the fact that we have increased in awareness of being able to get diagnosed.
00:19:42.92
Amanda Morin
Right?
00:19:43.18
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:19:43.16
Amanda Morin
So...
00:19:43.32
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:19:44.68
Amanda Morin
Like you can have an increase in diagnosis because there are more people seeking out diagnosis. It doesn't mean there are more people who have ADHD or there weren't any people who had ADHD or there weren't autistic people.
00:19:58.93
Amanda Morin
It just means that the access to being able to get that diagnosis or the willingness to look for ah diagnosis or the understanding that it's not the end of the world that if you have a diagnosis, right?
00:20:13.74
Amanda Morin
Those things have increased over time. But to be like, really frank, there, you know, the diagnosis for autism isn't even like, like the the current diagnosis that we have is, and don't know, 30 years old, i wouldn't quote me 100% on that.
00:20:30.61
Amanda Morin
But the way it's set up now, i mean, it's evolved over time. It wasn't that long ago that we were only talking about ADD. And ADD, which was attention deficit disorder, doesn't even exist as a diagnosis anymore.
00:20:43.81
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right.
00:20:44.19
Amanda Morin
It's evolved into ADHD, which has like inattentive type or hyperactive type or combined type, right? So we've evolved these diagnoses over time.
00:20:51.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:20:53.95
Amanda Morin
And we've had more people and more early intervention processes happen over time. So, you know, i have... So think that people want to find a reason for increases. I think it makes them worried, right?
00:21:08.52
Amanda Morin
I think it makes them nervous.
00:21:09.10
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:21:10.66
Amanda Morin
um And i also think that there's a lot more, like, you know you talked about The guests you had who's in their 20s, I think a lot more people who are in their 20s and early 30s are, there they're seeking identities, right? And they're trying to figure out who they are. And sometimes that diagnosis helps them put that identity into place.
00:21:33.45
Amanda Morin
um And like, I think that's a really cool thing to watch as young people say like, no, I need to know who I am. so I'm going to to figure out if there's something the additional I need to know to put those pieces together.
00:21:47.54
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right on. Yeah, I see what you're saying.
00:21:49.90
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:21:51.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know, with regard to diagnosis, I actually always think of breast cancer.
00:21:55.67
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Right.
00:21:56.02
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because in the 70s, very few people talked about breast cancer. But by the 90s, there was something like a 300% uptick in in breast cancer diagnoses.
00:22:04.72
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:22:06.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
And it wasn't because lots and lots of women were suddenly getting breast cancer. It's because they invented mammograms and told people to start getting them, you know, which is exactly what you were saying before.
00:22:13.26
Amanda Morin
rights
00:22:17.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
that knowing that there are there is a diagnosis and how to get it and that it's important to get it. makes a profound difference. So if your kid is struggling at school, instead of yelling at them and grounding them, you could actually take them to someone if you have insurance and and find out like what could be happening.
00:22:35.06
Amanda Morin
Or, yeah. yeah
00:22:38.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
and It might not just be as simple as like, okay, we went to that appointment and now we know everything and what to do about it. you know It's a process, but getting people on a path is is so important.
00:22:47.45
Amanda Morin
well
00:22:50.80
Amanda Morin
It is. And and the the thing that's, I think, more people are more aware of now is that there is a process through school systems, public school systems, where you can ask for your child to go through that evaluation process to see if they can be identified. The difference in in education and medical systems is there's like diagnosis and identification. And and identification means that you have some sort of disability that is impacting your ability to function in school in the way that we would expect, right?
00:23:21.41
Amanda Morin
But that process in public schools is free.
00:23:21.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:23:24.29
Amanda Morin
It's free. And being able to like share that information has made a huge difference for a lot of parents to be able to like really reframe how they see their child. You know, a i have three children and all of them are neurodivergent. All of them have different identifications and diagnoses. And um, you know, I'm not always my best self with them, but it certainly gives me an opportunity to go, oh yeah, no, that wasn't your best move, Amanda. Like you probably shouldn't have said, why can't you pay attention?
00:23:55.53
Amanda Morin
And the answer is because you can't pay attention right now. Right.
00:23:59.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
Too poor. Too poor to pay attention.
00:24:00.51
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:24:01.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
um
00:24:02.39
Amanda Morin
Ooh, but I'm bump. Yeah.
00:24:04.47
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right.
00:24:07.93
Wednesday Lee Friday
So what a what would you say to a parent who says that they would not want to get their child diagnosed because they don't want them to have a label because labels come with stigma?
00:24:22.39
Amanda Morin
I would say, the first thing I would say is I totally understand that, right? Just flat out. would I totally understand that. I also think that there's more reason to worry about that now. I'm just going to be honest. I think like in the climate that we live in, there is more reason to worry about that.
00:24:40.35
Amanda Morin
The second thing I would say is that there's a difference between a label that you wear and a label that gives you instructions on how to take care of whatever is being labeled, right?
00:24:54.45
Amanda Morin
So if you think about it, right, I will always be the person who will tear the labels out of my clothes or try and buy them without it because it bothers me. Like I don't like the way it feels, but I'm gonna need that label to know whether or not I need to dry clean the shirt I'm wearing, which which I don't do.
00:25:09.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm sorry. I'm laughing because I have taken to wearing my cotton sports bras inside out. Because...
00:25:15.91
Amanda Morin
Because of the tag, yeah.
00:25:17.78
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and it's it every time I do it, I say, this is why you know that men design clothing. Because when you buy men's t-shirts, they say, oh, we took the tag out so it won't hurt your witch or neck.
00:25:23.07
Amanda Morin
hundred percent
00:25:29.72
Amanda Morin
I know.
00:25:29.82
Wednesday Lee Friday
But then when it's a bra, it's like, yeah, here's three tags right in the middle of your back. And if you don't keep them on there, you'll never know what size this was or how to clean it ever, ever, ever again.
00:25:36.48
Amanda Morin
There's.
00:25:40.67
Amanda Morin
or you're going to have the hooks digging into your back. So yeah, same, same, same.
00:25:45.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
00:25:45.25
Amanda Morin
um Also, I don't dry clean things. I just want to put that out there for people because it just takes a lot of work.
00:25:51.52
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, wait, you want me to take my clothes to a place so someone else can clean them for me?
00:25:51.55
Amanda Morin
So.
00:25:56.12
Wednesday Lee Friday
I don't even want to walk upstairs to the laundry.
00:25:59.08
Amanda Morin
It means putting on shoes. I mean, come on now.
00:26:02.81
Wednesday Lee Friday
Outside?
00:26:02.89
Amanda Morin
But I know, i know.
00:26:03.73
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm going to get sun all over me.
00:26:07.01
Amanda Morin
it's just It's just so much work. It's so much work. But I will say, knowing that I should have dry cleaned my clothes gives me an understanding of why they didn't get clean the way I expected them to in the washing machine, right?
00:26:20.99
Amanda Morin
And so to some extent, I would say to parents that that... information is really just information, right? There's a label that goes with it because that's how we do things. That's how we get supports.
00:26:34.84
Amanda Morin
That's how we get insurance codes. That's how we do all of the things that make society run or not run, depending on how you look at that, right?
00:26:38.03
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:26:43.45
Amanda Morin
But the label doesn't define your child. It gives you more information about them. And so that's the piece that I always try and make sure that parents understand is like, You don't have to walk around saying, I have an autistic kid or my child has autism, however you do it, identity first or people first language, right?
00:26:58.46
Amanda Morin
You don't have to say, my kid has ADHD.
00:26:58.56
Wednesday Lee Friday
who
00:27:00.91
Amanda Morin
You don't have to tell anybody, you know, like, by the way, all of a sudden you need to know that my child has dyslexia. None of that has to be said out loud. But what has to be said out loud is this is what this means for my child and what they need and what we can do to support them, right?
00:27:16.39
Amanda Morin
And it also, I think kids know when they feel different, they know, right?
00:27:21.61
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm hmm.
00:27:21.80
Amanda Morin
And if we give them, yeah, I mean, like I, I, I know that I felt different for, i don't know, I still do, but like, you know, but at least I have a words for it now, right?
00:27:22.05
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, yeah.
00:27:30.89
Amanda Morin
And so I think it's important for kids to have an understanding.
00:27:31.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm hmm.
00:27:34.66
Amanda Morin
You, you know, we started this conversation and you said like, knowing that it's not that you're just lazy or any of those kinds of things. We don't want, kids are going to give themselves their own labels if we don't give them words for it. They're going to think they're lazy.
00:27:45.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm hmm.
00:27:46.39
Amanda Morin
They're going to think they're not trying hard enough. They're going to think they're dumb. They're to all of these negative labels. So if we give them that diagnosis, that identification, and then say, and this is what that means in terms of how your brain might process information, we're giving them the chance to like relabel themselves.
00:28:06.10
Amanda Morin
And so I think that's an important thing to talk to parents about.
00:28:07.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, yes, because I can tell you as a young person who knew that they were weird, that if I could have been called autistic instead of fucking weird, that but it would have made a great deal of difference to be a kid who more than anything else wanted to be normal.
00:28:09.64
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:28:26.15
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:26.97
Wednesday Lee Friday
And, and you know And then later on, I developed this like hard shell about it. Like, oh, well, normal means boring, and I'm not boring, and blah, blah, blah.
00:28:38.03
Wednesday Lee Friday
But no, I was a fat, weird kid with a stupid name, and I didn't like it.
00:28:38.87
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:28:44.72
Wednesday Lee Friday
So it it made such a profound difference, and people say, oh, but it made you so interesting. Well, you know what?
00:28:50.95
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:28:51.14
Wednesday Lee Friday
The United States is pretty interesting right now. I'd like to go back to being boring if we could.
00:28:56.32
Amanda Morin
No kidding. and also And also, interesting to whom, right? like
00:29:01.53
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right.
00:29:02.31
Amanda Morin
right like i'm I appreciate that you thought I was interesting, but like I didn't feel interesting. I felt uncomfortable. I felt whatever those words are, right?
00:29:08.79
Wednesday Lee Friday
how to Does my uncontrolled sobbing amuse you? Is it entertainment? um
00:29:15.54
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:15.90
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, yeah. and And I mean, I get it. i get it because I am also drawn both socially and romantically to train wrecks. The more messed up someone is, the more interesting I will find them and the more I want to know about it.
00:29:30.89
Wednesday Lee Friday
um if If you actually knew who like my secret celebrity fascination is, it's not a secret because I've written books about it. But it's one of the most fucked up people you can think of.
00:29:41.61
Wednesday Lee Friday
And I was so convinced that they were good for so long.
00:29:41.56
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:29:44.89
Wednesday Lee Friday
And boy, they're not. But...
00:29:48.67
Amanda Morin
Well, and I think that's because we look for people who make sense to us, right? Like, and if you grew up feeling like a total goddamn disaster, you like connect with or connect to parasocially or socially, whichever one, right?
00:29:54.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes. Yes.
00:30:06.48
Amanda Morin
To people who are that kind of disaster because you're like, oh, I recognize this.
00:30:06.65
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:30:10.74
Amanda Morin
I recognize this.
00:30:11.03
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes, this is comfortable and familiar to me, even though it looks like a nightmare to everyone else.
00:30:12.65
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:16.80
Amanda Morin
Right. Totally. Totally. So I don't know.
00:30:19.61
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's how serial killers get girlfriends when they're in prison.
00:30:19.63
Amanda Morin
I think we need.
00:30:22.59
Amanda Morin
Oh my God. That's not, that's not, it it is, it totally is.
00:30:24.47
Wednesday Lee Friday
But it is, though! would...
00:30:26.92
Amanda Morin
I never thought about it that way, but it is. Yeah. Ooh. I, I, wow. Yes, it is true. It is true. And yeah, I don't even know what to say to that.
00:30:38.29
Wednesday Lee Friday
i would I would actually like to talk about, speaking of serial killers, no, I'm joking. um No, but I would like to talk about your mental health journey. So when were you diagnosed?
00:30:47.13
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:30:49.66
Amanda Morin
So, I mean, that's a tricky one because i wasn't officially diagnosed appropriately until like I was 50, right?
00:31:01.47
Amanda Morin
And I'm 51 now.
00:31:01.95
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:31:03.27
Amanda Morin
So not that long ago. But I went through a whole series of diagnoses that were not accurate from the time I was a teenager on. Okay, so I was a quirky, weird kid.
00:31:15.80
Amanda Morin
And people just were like, well, she's a little weird. She sits in the corner. She's the one who likes to read.
00:31:20.53
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:31:20.53
Amanda Morin
doesn't like know how to do a lot of. friendship kind of stuff. And when she does, she's super intense, you know, like all of those kinds of things, right?
00:31:26.77
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes. Mm-hmm.
00:31:28.12
Amanda Morin
um She's gonna say a word that she's only read in a book. So she's gonna say it wrong all the time. Like that's, that's the kid I was. But as I got to be, you know, early teens, mid teens,
00:31:41.86
Amanda Morin
It just, it took its toll on me. It took a toll on me and I, and I hit like depression phase, right? Like I was, I was anxious, I was depressed. And so I was diagnosed with depression and I was diagnosed with depression but when SSRIs were first coming out. So I was put on SSRIs and then that didn't really make much of a difference, right?
00:32:01.13
Amanda Morin
And then over time I was diagnosed ah incorrectly as bipolar two, right? Like, so all of these kinds of things that eventually added up to the correct diagnosis.
00:32:13.75
Amanda Morin
So I went through a lot of my life, not understanding why the diagnoses I had on my records or conversations I was having, why they didn't feel right and why I wasn't actually, i don't know, like doing well, you know, like I wasn't, yeah.
00:32:29.12
Wednesday Lee Friday
No, I totally, totally feel that because when I finally did get a diagnosis, the doctor looked at a fat lady who was sad and said, well, you have depression.
00:32:32.28
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:41.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
And he put me on Welbutrin. So when it turned out I was bipolar and that it sent me into crazy, crazy mania, i mean, because the thing about depression is that like depression will keep you from getting things done.
00:32:57.33
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know, it'll put your life on hold and it can, I mean, you know, sometimes it leads to like self unaliving thoughts and whatever, but
00:32:57.87
Amanda Morin
yeah
00:33:07.86
Wednesday Lee Friday
not Not that I'm glossing over that. It's very serious.
00:33:09.80
Amanda Morin
na No, no, no.
00:33:10.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
but like But, like, that's a thing that happens.
00:33:10.47
Amanda Morin
No, I hear you. Yeah.
00:33:12.42
Wednesday Lee Friday
But then, like, mania is more like, yeah, I have a new idea that's going to make me a millionaire. So I'm going to spend thousands of dollars on it. Hang on. I got to go tell my boss to go fuck himself.
00:33:23.82
Wednesday Lee Friday
And then I'm going to get a divorce.
00:33:24.01
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:33:25.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because you know what? And, like, it just...
00:33:28.13
Amanda Morin
And I haven't slept in three weeks, right?
00:33:28.59
Wednesday Lee Friday
you
00:33:29.65
Amanda Morin
Like, like, right, right.
00:33:30.05
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right, right. And every idea seems like the best idea you've ever had and nothing is going to stop you. And then two weeks later, you're like, oh, holy shit, I just blew up my entire life.
00:33:40.01
Amanda Morin
Right, right, and like, and just, yeah, and,
00:33:41.20
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, well, if if anyone's still speaking to me, please help me through this.
00:33:46.43
Amanda Morin
and that's the thing, right? And i I think that's the important thing is I, I'm trying to figure out how to like even put this into words. Well, the first thing is I, you know, when my two youngest kids who are 23 today, actually in 15, they were, they both have diagnosis of autism. they They use autistic because that's their identity first kind of place, right?
00:34:08.58
Amanda Morin
All of a sudden I was like, oh, wait a second. Of course, that makes a ton of sense. And of course I work in this field too. So I'm like watching little pieces of myself make more sense as I'm working in the field. But I had this moment where i was like, okay, all of those things, that's me also.
00:34:22.08
Amanda Morin
But it took a long time as a woman to get heard. And on top of that, when you're somebody who is able to explain to somebody what you are feeling and how bad it is feeling,
00:34:35.07
Amanda Morin
They look at you, a lot of doctors look at me and they're like, but you're functioning so well. And I'm like, this is what you're seeing, but underneath I'm not functioning well at all, right? Like there's, yeah.
00:34:44.96
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, isn't that like a huge thing with autistics is that we kind of make it look easy?
00:34:50.42
Amanda Morin
I think so. i think, you know, I think about like the duck paddling underneath the surface, right? We're gliding along, but underneath the surface, we're just paddling, paddling, paddling, paddling. But the fact that you can articulate it says to people, you're fine.
00:35:04.29
Amanda Morin
And I'm just like, that's not actually true. And so it took me a long time to be able to find somebody who I could say to you're hearing me articulate this because I am very good at articulating things.
00:35:16.17
Amanda Morin
I'm very good at telling you the things.
00:35:17.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right, right.
00:35:19.80
Amanda Morin
Also,
00:35:20.15
Wednesday Lee Friday
Being good with words doesn't mean I'm sane. It just means I'm like i adept at explaining exactly how I'm not.
00:35:23.12
Amanda Morin
exactly.
00:35:27.94
Amanda Morin
Exactly. Exactly. So it took me a long time to get to the right right diagnosis. Some of the pieces were there, you know, along the way, right? Like, but I think the piece that was really important to me to realize is like depression was not wrong, but it was situational, right?
00:35:45.21
Amanda Morin
It wasn't like it's not the big diagnosis.
00:35:45.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:35:48.17
Amanda Morin
It was the situational component of things. And it would be like, I'd have autistic burnout and I'd be like really down and tired and all of these things. And that tired wasn't depressed.
00:35:58.88
Amanda Morin
It was unable to function because I had just used up all the spoons I had left, right? I had no spoons.
00:36:05.58
Wednesday Lee Friday
o
00:36:06.57
Amanda Morin
I was like, I don't know. Like what's a negative spoon? I don't actually know what a negative spoon is. I was a fork.
00:36:14.56
Wednesday Lee Friday
A slotted spoon, perhaps?
00:36:16.03
Amanda Morin
ah slotted I was a slotted spoon.
00:36:17.32
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, it's shaped like a spoon, but it doesn't actually contain anything, nor can it.
00:36:17.59
Amanda Morin
There we go.
00:36:21.00
Amanda Morin
A spork. I was a spork, I think, at that point, you know? um But that component of things and the anxiety and the like obsessive thinking kinds of things, they all fit into this label of autistic for me in a way that made me go, oh, this makes so much more sense.
00:36:41.15
Amanda Morin
It doesn't change how I exist in the world, but does change how I can be graceful to myself, right? Or I can stop saying, why can't I do this?
00:36:52.60
Amanda Morin
Because the answer is because your brain really won't do it, right? Whatever it is.
00:36:56.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes, yes.
00:36:57.62
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:36:58.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
And I can remember the first time i had anything like that happen to me.
00:36:58.52
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:37:04.10
Wednesday Lee Friday
And I was ah in high school and somebody said, oh, you're a night person. And I didn't, I had never heard that term before.
00:37:09.61
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:37:13.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
and it's just somebody that functions better at night.
00:37:16.35
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:37:16.56
Wednesday Lee Friday
And that is part of the human condition. It goes back to caveman times when somebody had to stay up all night and let everybody else sleep and know they'd be safe. So that is just a thing.
00:37:25.67
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:37:26.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
But yet my whole life, not only, i mean, I had apnea, which also fucked with my sleep.
00:37:32.45
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:37:32.90
Wednesday Lee Friday
But just this whole like, oh, you're so lazy.
00:37:33.00
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:37:35.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, you go to bed and you, you know, whatever. You always seem tired. You always seem this and that. And it turns out that like, no, the world is set up for people who have to be somewhere by 8 a.m. m and home by 6 and that can actually go to sleep at a reasonable hour. i can't do any of those things.
00:37:53.94
Amanda Morin
Totally.
00:37:54.08
Wednesday Lee Friday
But that's when school is. And even as an adult, that's when the bank is open. That's where a lot of jobs are.
00:37:58.36
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:37:59.89
Wednesday Lee Friday
And, you know,
00:38:01.36
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:38:02.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
But once you understand, like, oh, I don't really do things that way, how much of my life can I organize to accommodate that? And how much easier will it be going forward after making just a couple of simple accommodations?
00:38:16.22
Amanda Morin
And it's huge because you stop being so hard on yourself and you start being like, you treat yourself like you would treat somebody else maybe, right?
00:38:19.77
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes.
00:38:24.11
Amanda Morin
You know, which is,
00:38:25.87
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, that's that's always my philosophy is don't say anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to your best friend.
00:38:31.96
Amanda Morin
You know, I say a lot of things to my best friend, though. I don't know.
00:38:36.60
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, maybe she shouldn't be such a bitch. um
00:38:40.37
Amanda Morin
I will tell her that.
00:38:44.09
Wednesday Lee Friday
So when some random person just punches me in the face one day, I'll be like, oh, right. I said that on the show. Right?
00:38:49.95
Amanda Morin
No, no, because she would say it right back to me.
00:38:50.29
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right?
00:38:51.75
Amanda Morin
She'd be like, Amanda, you don't be such a bitch and we'll be fine.
00:38:53.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
00:38:55.71
Amanda Morin
That's the joy of friendship sometimes, right? Like, yeah, yeah.
00:38:57.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
right
00:38:59.41
Amanda Morin
I don't know. I, you know, and I appreciate you noting the, like, the sleep thing, because I think that's huge. It's a huge thing. Like, people have different rhythms, and we expect, you know, expect them to live in one rhythm, and it doesn't make any sense.
00:39:13.81
Amanda Morin
It just doesn't. I mean, if you're productive at two in the morning, do it, do it at two in the morning.
00:39:20.46
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah.
00:39:21.33
Amanda Morin
You know, like that's, that's what I mean.
00:39:21.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:39:24.23
Amanda Morin
i wish the world would be a little more accommodating to that, but being able to say like, I'm not asleep at 9am because I don't feel like getting up.
00:39:35.41
Amanda Morin
I'm asleep at 9am because I went to bed at four because I got so much done between 12 and four and not because I was manic, but because that's when my brain was functioning best period.
00:39:40.42
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right.
00:39:44.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and there's also the two sleeps thing, because in the Middle Ages, people slept twice, and I do so much better.
00:39:47.30
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:39:51.31
Wednesday Lee Friday
If my life was some sort of, like, overlook hotel situation where time had no meaning and I could just do whatever I want, definitely two sleeps.
00:40:00.45
Amanda Morin
Me too. I just read a really good article in the Atlantic about that, by the way, I just read a fantastic article about sleep and it talked a lot about the two sleeps and, and how evolution,
00:40:10.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
Ooh, it's a new month. I have free Atlantic articles. I should definitely go check that out.
00:40:14.35
Amanda Morin
It was really good. It was really good. I was reading it out loud to people in my house who didn't necessarily want to hear it, but they heard it anyway. Cause I was like, listen to this. This is so like, this makes so much sense. Um, but it, you know, yeah, the two sleeps like that seven hour sort of you get up and then you go back and it it just makes a lot of sense to be able to, to do things when you're best equipped to do it. And like,
00:40:37.19
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:40:37.36
Amanda Morin
In a neurodiversity affirming world, that's what I would hope for is that we would be able to say like, hey, you do this when it works for you. Like the self-imposed deadline really isn't important. It's self-imposed, right? Like I would like to see a world where we have more real deadlines and not like fake deadlines because I don't know how many of them are actually real sometimes.
00:40:58.13
Amanda Morin
um That's a whole, I think, yeah but it's
00:40:58.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:41:02.04
Wednesday Lee Friday
It's like, okay, is this is this real or is this like a border where we all just made it up and now we're going to kill somebody if they if they go past it or whatever?
00:41:07.38
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:41:10.66
Amanda Morin
Totally.
00:41:10.83
Wednesday Lee Friday
um
00:41:11.84
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:41:13.23
Wednesday Lee Friday
so So let me ask you this.
00:41:13.56
Amanda Morin
So.
00:41:14.95
Wednesday Lee Friday
so So you have a person like you or me who were not really properly diagnosed until they were well into adulthood. um I know I felt a fair bit of of anger about that, at what my life could have been had i known these things as a a youth or a young adult even, and and didn't.
00:41:37.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
So ah how does one get past that?
00:41:41.78
Amanda Morin
Yeah. I felt, I'm not sure, it's interesting, I'm not sure I felt anger as much as I felt grief, right? I felt a lot of grief over how much different my life could have been.
00:41:49.18
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:41:54.32
Amanda Morin
And I think that there's room for that, right? So for adults who are just getting diagnosed, I think there's absolutely like a need for you to be able to take that time to be angry or to be grieving or to be whatever.
00:42:07.37
Amanda Morin
But also, eventually, I got to a place where I was like, you know, in the grand scheme of things, everything I went through brought me to where I am. If I'm comfortable with where I am today, I guess I just have to deal with the shit that brought me here, right?
00:42:23.19
Amanda Morin
Like that's...
00:42:23.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:42:24.37
Amanda Morin
Which is sort of the philosophical way of looking at it. But I do think that one of the things that a lot of adults do is they go through, they go back through their life and they think about like, how could it have been different?
00:42:35.92
Amanda Morin
Who would I be today? And i think just giving yourself the opportunity to say like, that's a valid reaction. Of course it is, right? Right. Where it gets tricky is like, are you blaming somebody else for not picking up on that? or you know, what, what, you know, it's the, what can you do now?
00:42:54.83
Amanda Morin
Right? So a lot of times, once you get past that grief and anger, or you may never get past it, but like, at some point you have to think about how am I moving forward? What can I do differently now? Right?
00:43:05.67
Amanda Morin
What would I have liked to have done when I was younger that i now can do because I have this information? And for me, that's the piece where I'm just like, I just show up as I am, you know, and I think I spent a lot of time, you know, a lot of people who neurodivergent know the the masking thing, right?
00:43:20.92
Amanda Morin
We mask, we, you know, we mask, we camouflage, we do all of these things.
00:43:21.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
Uh-huh. ahha
00:43:25.92
Amanda Morin
And I hit a point where I was like, I'm not doing that anymore. Right? It served me well before I had understanding of why I do it. And now I'm less likely to mask and I'm less likely to apologize for who I am.
00:43:41.83
Amanda Morin
And that's freeing to me in a way that I didn't expect I'd ever get to. Right. But I think it takes some time to be able to say like, you know what, who I was back then was fine.
00:43:54.36
Amanda Morin
I was, I was okay. I was, you know, i didn't feel fine, but like there was nothing wrong with me Sometimes people have to go back and have those conversations with like family or they are old friends and say like, I need to understand that like your perceptions of me.
00:44:14.46
Amanda Morin
yeah are based in something that we didn't understand the full reality of, right? So to be able to say to somebody like, you know, you always thought I was kind of like lazy or didn't feel like getting up in the morning or I was super grouchy when there were lots of people around, be able to say like, and that's because my nervous system wasn't regulating and it still won't regulate.
00:44:37.13
Amanda Morin
Like I need to understand that there's been reasons, you know, like be able to say, because reasons matters a lot.
00:44:41.25
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:44:44.82
Amanda Morin
um But also just to say like everybody's experience is going to be different, right? Some people get very stuck in that place where they're like, I could have been different. I could have had a different life.
00:44:56.84
Amanda Morin
And I respect that, right? I hope that they will get to a point.
00:45:00.38
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, how about just my same life, but like successful?
00:45:04.94
Amanda Morin
Right, right.
00:45:05.04
Wednesday Lee Friday
The but life like without a billion different fuck ups because you didn't know how to manage a situation that other people seem to manage just fine.
00:45:05.63
Amanda Morin
But like,
00:45:15.54
Amanda Morin
Listen, I wrote an entire book.
00:45:15.89
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know, like, why why can't I get a job and keep it?
00:45:17.35
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:45:18.52
Wednesday Lee Friday
Why did I fuck up that relationship?
00:45:19.28
Amanda Morin
Oh my God.
00:45:20.52
Wednesday Lee Friday
Why is that friendship no longer a thing? You know, like, all these these little things that are like, okay, this is not a huge thing.
00:45:23.47
Amanda Morin
Right. Right.
00:45:28.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
And if this happened as a natural course of events, I probably wouldn't even care that much. But because I know it happened, because I didn't have the information that I needed and about myself or how my brain works,
00:45:41.62
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:45:43.62
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm so mad about it. You know, I went all through school and they wanted to test me in school, but my people, like my mom didn't want people to know how much she was beating us.
00:45:45.93
Amanda Morin
I hear you. Yeah.
00:45:52.92
Wednesday Lee Friday
And like, it's a whole thing, but you know, so like, mean, I guess when I'm angry, I'm angry more at like a specific person it, like just a general, like, you know, I'm not mad at my teacher because my teachers didn't notice I was autistic.
00:45:53.83
Amanda Morin
um Yeah.
00:46:02.06
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:46:07.55
Wednesday Lee Friday
Cause you know, they're dealing with like 35 kids day. but yeah, so
00:46:12.24
Amanda Morin
And they may not know anything about it anyway, right?
00:46:12.74
Wednesday Lee Friday
but
00:46:14.18
Amanda Morin
Like that that's the other piece of it.
00:46:14.75
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, in the 70s, yeah, they really didn't.
00:46:16.57
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:46:16.81
Wednesday Lee Friday
They didn't, I mean, even if I had been tested, they didn't know how to diagnose ADHD in girls, and they were still calling it, like, Asperger's syndrome or something in the 70s.
00:46:17.41
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:46:22.41
Amanda Morin
Nope.
00:46:25.10
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah.
00:46:26.17
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, you know, I don't know that I necessarily would have felt better about being told that, because my mom kind of treated anything that was non-average about me, like it was a hang-up or a,
00:46:26.17
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:39.82
Wednesday Lee Friday
Or it was an issue. Like it was a problem. Good or bad. You know. Like if I won a speech contest. And had to go to another town. To give another speech. That was a huge imposition. And it was terrible. But then like. If I did something poorly. Then that was.
00:46:53.65
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know. There was no way to win with her. Probably because she was autistic. And didn't know it. But.
00:46:58.50
Amanda Morin
I, right? I know. i know. There's such a genetic thing there too, but also that angry piece, right? Like there are a lot of adults who go no contact with people in their lives at some point, you know, and, and if that's what you, you, whoever you are are listening, right.
00:47:21.10
Amanda Morin
Need to do to feel healthy. Like I support that a hundred percent. Right. And so.
00:47:25.91
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, i'm I'm a great fan of that.
00:47:26.20
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:47:27.51
Wednesday Lee Friday
For people, regular listeners know, I went no contact with my mom when I was 24. Well, almost 24.
00:47:32.87
Amanda Morin
Good for you. Like,
00:47:34.36
Wednesday Lee Friday
It was like September, I turned 24 in November. And it's easily the best big decision that I ever made. you know, better than picking a major, better, well, not my husband, that's that's probably the best one.
00:47:43.29
Amanda Morin
I feel that.
00:47:49.63
Wednesday Lee Friday
But in the first 30 years, that that that was the best one.
00:47:50.20
Amanda Morin
You know.
00:47:52.88
Amanda Morin
But also, like, they can be equally good, right? Like, they can like you you going no contact probably set you up to be able to make the big decision to have the best decision about your husband, right?
00:48:04.06
Amanda Morin
Like, because you were...
00:48:04.85
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, yes, because I was not choosing men well when I was being emotionally and physically and mentally abused at home.
00:48:05.54
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:48:11.56
Wednesday Lee Friday
I was making decisions that would get me the hell out of there as opposed to, you know, choosing a respectful man who would be right for me.
00:48:12.03
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:48:20.37
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because and it the thing is, that that's like, you know, having a successful marriage is the one success in my life. My career is kind of shitty. I don't have any money. But that one thing that I have is something that I know a lot of people would kill for.
00:48:38.62
Wednesday Lee Friday
So in a weird way, i feel kind of good about that.
00:48:41.05
Amanda Morin
I don't think it's weird at all. I think you should feel really good about it. Like having a successful marriage is hard, hard, hard, hard work, right? it's
00:48:50.45
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah.
00:48:50.82
Amanda Morin
It's a lot of work. And I think people don't always know how much work it takes. And so like that success isn't just magical. It's work. It's putting in a lot of work.
00:49:00.28
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, yeah.
00:49:00.54
Amanda Morin
So yeah.
00:49:00.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
I mean, neither one of us came out of the box like this. We we both had to to do a a fair... Like, i when I met my husband, I was 28? eight twenty nine 29? Something like that.
00:49:12.37
Wednesday Lee Friday
And I had never... been in a healthy relationship before and I don't believe that I have ever seen one modeled so that was all new to me like wait a minute I shouldn't just scream and just swear at you because I'm mad about some mundane thing oh right because you have feelings okay this is all coming together you know
00:49:20.47
Amanda Morin
Well, I, so, yeah, I mean,
00:49:34.34
Amanda Morin
I, you know, so I wrote an entire book on adulting. Don't love the title, but like, because it cracks me up adult, you know, but in the book, one of the things I did is told all the stories of the way I messed it up so badly, right?
00:49:46.45
Amanda Morin
Because I didn't know how to be a good adult.
00:49:47.36
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:49:49.34
Amanda Morin
I got married for the first time a week past my 19th birthday. I was a baby.
00:49:53.08
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh my gosh.
00:49:53.63
Amanda Morin
I was a child. um I've got married the second time at 31 and I've been married almost 21, 20, 20 years now. I can't even math here. Yeah.
00:50:05.00
Amanda Morin
Almost 20 years. And I'm really proud of that. Like how much work has gone into like really being a healthier person and respecting other people's feelings and like all of those kinds of things.
00:50:17.12
Amanda Morin
I have other professional successes, but like my personal successes are the ones that like I feel best about because i don't know like professional success comes and goes, right?
00:50:29.08
Amanda Morin
At the end of the day, the people that I live with are the people who like, It has to be good, right? Like that has to be good because i don't know.
00:50:39.95
Amanda Morin
I was going somewhere and then I got lost in my own head. So nevermind. Like it was going somewhere.
00:50:43.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
00:50:45.16
Amanda Morin
like
00:50:46.57
Wednesday Lee Friday
It happens.
00:50:46.63
Amanda Morin
Neurodivergence at work right there. yeah, yeah.
00:50:48.86
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right?
00:50:49.26
Amanda Morin
yeah yeah yeah
00:50:50.79
Wednesday Lee Friday
But I did want to actually talk more about your book, so I'm glad you brought it up. um ah if Just looking over just a general sense of your book, it seems like you have an appreciation for the line between providing information and giving advice.
00:51:09.10
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because that's
00:51:09.34
Amanda Morin
Oh yeah.
00:51:10.58
Wednesday Lee Friday
Any book that I read about mental illness has advice in it And some of it is just fucking dumb. If I wanted to go out in the sun and get fresh air, I would be there now. Clearly I do not. Suggest something else.
00:51:24.03
Wednesday Lee Friday
um
00:51:24.21
Amanda Morin
Have you tried meditating? Sorry, I'm just kidding.
00:51:26.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh my god.
00:51:26.99
Amanda Morin
Like that's okay. I'm sorry.
00:51:29.39
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, and then I did CrossFit and I went vegan. And and and i then I started buying supplements from Joe Rogan.
00:51:33.21
Amanda Morin
Okay, okay. and
00:51:36.41
Wednesday Lee Friday
Um...
00:51:36.60
Amanda Morin
There you go. Okay, cool. You've done all the things.
00:51:39.59
Wednesday Lee Friday
No, there that there I don't go. um
00:51:42.29
Amanda Morin
Yeah. um
00:51:43.77
Wednesday Lee Friday
But why why is that an important distinction in your mind?
00:51:44.21
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:48.33
Amanda Morin
So I think there's a huge distinction between being prescriptive and being descriptive, right? And so the books that I write, and I've written a number of them and they sort of range, one of them is actually the Everything's Parents Guide to Special Education.
00:51:55.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:52:02.96
Amanda Morin
And then I've written a children's book on empathy. Like I've i've done a whole range of of books. And in every single one of them, my goal has been, want you to have the information to make informed decisions that work for you, right?
00:52:15.45
Amanda Morin
Period.
00:52:15.98
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:52:16.24
Amanda Morin
That work for you based on who you are, what your life is like. Because me sitting here, I could tell you what works for me, but your life isn't the same as mine, right? So what I want you to do is have all of the information to make informed decisions and and to feel like confident in the decisions that you make.
00:52:34.94
Amanda Morin
I could prescribe exactly what I think you should do, or I could describe the things that you need to know in order to make your own decisions. And that's really, really important to me, in part because I have that autistic thing where I don't like being told what to do, just frankly.
00:52:49.84
Amanda Morin
Like, I don't like it. I don't like when people say to me, you know what you need to do, because I'm just like, no, but apparently you do.
00:52:50.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
00:52:55.25
Amanda Morin
You know what I need to do, right? um But what I do appreciate is when people say, have you thought about this, right? have you Have you thought about this? Here's something that you may not know, right?
00:53:07.33
Amanda Morin
So to me, it's really important to give people as much of what they they might want to think about to be able to make the decisions, but also to give them some pathways because, you know, like there's decision overwhelm is a real thing, right?
00:53:20.99
Amanda Morin
When you have
00:53:21.53
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, yeah.
00:53:22.15
Amanda Morin
a lot going on a lot coming at you the the other thing that i you know i was like i do a lot of writing around not just here's the information now figure it out it's also and here's one thing you could do with this and here's another thing you could do with this and here's another pathway and here are some questions you could ask the doctor or you could ask the teacher right So I'm providing them with tools to be, to build their own, you know, kit and their own success.
00:53:49.71
Amanda Morin
um Because I just really, really, really think it's important to realize that not everyone has the same pathway and not everybody has the same skillset, right? So one of the things that I will just say 100% out loud is like, I don't love it when people are like, you have to learn to advocate for yourself.
00:54:06.56
Amanda Morin
Right. Yes, I think it is helpful to learn how to be an advocate for yourself. But that big A advocacy, not everybody's comfortable with it. I don't think I want to say to everybody, you have to learn to advocate for yourself.
00:54:19.02
Amanda Morin
What I do want to say is, I want you to understand yourself. so that when you find yourself in a situation that doesn't feel comfortable, you can tell somebody why, or you can leave it and feel good about leaving that situation, right?
00:54:33.41
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
00:54:33.88
Amanda Morin
So, yeah. So, I mean, I think it's just because we're all different. We're all different humans, and we all have different reactions in different ways, and I can't anticipate everybody's experience, and I do not want to pretend that I can.
00:54:47.55
Amanda Morin
And I think that's one of the things that, like, a lot of self-help books kind of come from one perspective. And so I don't write self-help books, right? I write self, I don't even know.
00:54:57.88
Wednesday Lee Friday
ye
00:55:00.28
Amanda Morin
I don't write self-help books. I write informational texts that you can, you know, they have little stories in them that you can go, oh, Amanda was a mess too. Cool. You know, like, but
00:55:10.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, it's really validating, though, to see vulnerability in people.
00:55:13.07
Amanda Morin
yeah.
00:55:14.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's what I love about social media, is to see that, like, people...
00:55:15.09
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:55:17.56
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:55:19.35
Wednesday Lee Friday
I tend to idolize people, because people are sort of abstract to me if I don't know them. So, finding out, for example, that, like...
00:55:32.19
Wednesday Lee Friday
you know, a writer that you love is having money problems or finding out that like, you know, this millionaire star is having a bad day because they spilled their coffee this morning.
00:55:35.88
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:55:43.56
Wednesday Lee Friday
Just, you know, stupid humanizing things that are like, oh yeah, that's annoying for everybody, isn't it?
00:55:47.03
Amanda Morin
Right.
00:55:51.08
Amanda Morin
Right, right, right, you know.
00:55:51.34
Wednesday Lee Friday
Or that like people that have success still have problems. So if I'm yeah that there There really is like no escape from regular mundane things.
00:56:02.24
Wednesday Lee Friday
So you don't have to feel like a failure if you're having money problems or you spilled coffee this morning, you know, that whole thing.
00:56:08.82
Amanda Morin
Right. Yeah. You know, and it's, it's interesting. i you know, I, I think that's one of the best things that's come out of social media is the ability to realize like people are people.
00:56:20.95
Amanda Morin
um I just went all, you know, people are people. That's how, why should it be? Anyway, anyway, that's like song lyrics. There we go. But like,
00:56:29.08
Wednesday Lee Friday
I met the dudes in Depeche Mode.
00:56:31.99
Amanda Morin
oh my gosh. Okay.
00:56:33.44
Wednesday Lee Friday
I was working at Industry.
00:56:33.57
Amanda Morin
Now we're friends. We're actual friends. You and I.
00:56:35.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
it's It's this club in Pontiac. It's called Industry. And they would have like Halloween haunted houses and they were all like gothy and industrialists in the And...
00:56:46.69
Wednesday Lee Friday
and
00:56:48.50
Amanda Morin
I love that.
00:56:48.97
Wednesday Lee Friday
I saw the... I talked to, like, you know, it was kind of like, oh, hey, guys, this is your crew. And I'd be like, oh, hi, I'm on the crew. and
00:56:57.10
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:56:58.31
Wednesday Lee Friday
And when I went to clean their dressing room in between sets, I saw the biggest pile of cocaine i had ever...
00:57:06.24
Amanda Morin
Oh my God.
00:57:06.89
Wednesday Lee Friday
I mean, I was not commonly around cocaine. I was much more of a weed person. Still am. Wink. um But... I mean, it looked like an anthill. Like, I wasn't sure at first that it was cocaine because there was so much of it.
00:57:16.79
Amanda Morin
Oh my God.
00:57:20.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
Remember in the movie The Departed where Jack Nicholson just picks up like a handful of cocaine in a sugar bowl?
00:57:25.03
Amanda Morin
Yes. Yes.
00:57:27.46
Wednesday Lee Friday
It was like, okay, this is a preposterous amount of drugs here.
00:57:28.46
Amanda Morin
Oh, no.
00:57:31.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
i could I'm just laughing at it.
00:57:34.22
Amanda Morin
That's hilarious.
00:57:34.39
Wednesday Lee Friday
that i Because sometimes I'll tell that story and people are like, oh my god, how much did you take? um i I took zero amount of cocaine. Because what the hell.
00:57:45.59
Amanda Morin
That's a lot. That's a lot.
00:57:46.86
Wednesday Lee Friday
But yes, that that's my Depeche Mode story.
00:57:47.15
Amanda Morin
That's a lot of.
00:57:49.65
Wednesday Lee Friday
it
00:57:49.68
Amanda Morin
But see, like you and I are people who have stories like that because when, because we do like, it's interesting because you say you idolize people, but what you actually do is you humanize people, right? So you can like say, hey guys, I'm on your crew.
00:58:04.16
Amanda Morin
Whereas some other people would just be like, oh my God, that's Depeche Mode. I can't talk to Depeche Mode because, you know, and I'm just
00:58:07.86
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes.
00:58:12.03
Amanda Morin
People are are humans, right, first. And so when I meet somebody that every somebody else might think is like a ah huge deal, I don't disagree that they're a huge deal.
00:58:22.23
Amanda Morin
But I'm also like, hey, you know, you have toilet paper on your shoe because everybody needs know that kind of thing, right?
00:58:25.63
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
00:58:29.19
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:58:29.43
Wednesday Lee Friday
yes
00:58:30.13
Amanda Morin
So, yeah. So, I mean, i like the way you describe idolizing. I really think what you're talking about is like you're you're recognizing the humanity in everybody, that we all just have these common things that that is the human experience, right? You can't get away from sadness.
00:58:48.06
Amanda Morin
You can't get away from bad weather. You can't get, you know, like all of those things that happen. ah And that was like a weird example, but like they don't discriminate.
00:58:59.87
Amanda Morin
Life doesn't discriminate. it does get easier, I think, for some people when they have people around them who can help them and they have money and things like that. But they they can't they can't escape from just the humanity of like, oh, I spilled my coffee and now I have to go to this meeting with like this coffee stain and I'm just going to walk through that and, you know.
00:59:16.84
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right. I want to say it was Jim Carrey who said that he wished everyone could become rich and famous so they could find out that that's not it.
00:59:29.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's not the key to happiness.
00:59:29.70
Amanda Morin
Yeah. I think it was actually. I i think, yeah.
00:59:33.78
Wednesday Lee Friday
Seems like something he'd say. He's he's pretty deep.
00:59:37.14
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:59:37.60
Wednesday Lee Friday
And it's it's a funny thing about Jim Carrey, because, you know, he started out doing all that that silly, crude kind of humor, and then he dropped something like Truman Show or Eternals on China on us.
00:59:37.90
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:59:44.82
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
00:59:49.59
Wednesday Lee Friday
It's like, wait, what what just happened?
00:59:51.63
Amanda Morin
I know.
00:59:52.94
Wednesday Lee Friday
why um Why is Jim Carrey making me cry and reconsider everything I've ever said and done?
00:59:53.02
Amanda Morin
I know. And Truman Show, I'm just...
00:59:57.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's not fair.
00:59:59.47
Amanda Morin
Truman Show is one of my favorite movies ever. I'm just going to say, like I would watch it over and over and over again. Um, and I have, I have.
01:00:05.39
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, well... that's relatable.
01:00:07.72
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, yeah.
01:00:10.04
Wednesday Lee Friday
um So I wanted to actually talk about ah anxiety and obsessive compulsive thinking, because I know that's something that a lot of autistic people live with and something you live with as well.
01:00:18.78
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:00:24.19
Amanda Morin
Yep.
01:00:24.49
Wednesday Lee Friday
Do those things go together, the anxiety with the autism?
01:00:28.91
Amanda Morin
um Some people would say yes, right? I'm not 100% sure. i think it is a part of it. um There are people who are now thinking about whether or not there's a very specific type of anxiety that goes with autism. I can't remember the name of it. I wish I could at the top off the top of my head.
01:00:45.14
Amanda Morin
I think that the state of being anxious is part of autism in some way, right? Because there's an unpredictability to a lot of things and predictability in routine,
01:00:58.17
Amanda Morin
are part of the things that the autistic brain craves. and um And so not having that predictability and routine, because like not everybody lives inside your head, um can cause a lot of that anxiety.
01:01:12.45
Amanda Morin
But it's situational. It doesn't always stay, right? like So I think they they co-occur quite often, but I don't know that they're always tied together. For me, they are.
01:01:24.02
Amanda Morin
Like I just, they are. And part of that is because my sensory system misfires in ways that actually make my body feel anxious, even though my brain may not be anxious.
01:01:35.24
Amanda Morin
So then when my body feels anxious, my brain is trying to find a reason why it feels anxious. and perseverates on all of the things that could be making me anxious. It's like this weird cycle of of all the things that happen at the same time.
01:01:48.87
Amanda Morin
um I do know a lot of self-aware autistic people who describe anxiety as being like an existential anxiety. There are a lot of people I know who talk about eco-anxiety. Like they have very specific types of anxiety or things that they get anxious about.
01:02:05.20
Amanda Morin
I don't know if that's, I think I just went off on a pedantic thing there.
01:02:06.98
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, i've I've heard the term justice-sensitive autism, which seems like if you want things to... I mean, I'm pretty sure I have it.
01:02:18.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
A doctor hasn't said, hey, you have this, but it it certainly makes sense because my earliest meltdowns all came from things that I knew were just 100% not fair and were happening for reasons that no one could adequately explain to me.
01:02:34.45
Wednesday Lee Friday
And it would just make me furious. And it still kind of does because it's a, it's a very much a, well, I did everything I was supposed to do here and I still seem screwed.
01:02:38.48
Amanda Morin
Same.
01:02:43.45
Wednesday Lee Friday
Whereas these lawbreaking a-holes are taking over the world. So, you know,
01:02:49.20
Amanda Morin
Yeah. And I don't, yeah. I've heard a lot of people talk about that that sense of social justice or that sense of, you know, like powerful sense of like when things are unjust is part of autism.
01:03:01.69
Amanda Morin
I don't know what to think about that. I think it is absolutely true that a lot of people I know who are autistic are really tuned into injustice, right?
01:03:13.05
Amanda Morin
i don't know how much of that is about injustice as much as it's about like systems expecting things to go a certain way.
01:03:23.63
Amanda Morin
And when they don't, and then people don't get penalized for not following the systems and the rules, it doesn't seem right that like, that they don't get penalized and we don't get rewarded and like all of those kinds of things.
01:03:36.47
Amanda Morin
Right. So I don't know what I think about that because I don't know that all autistic people have that sense of justice. I think we all have a sense of rules and rights and wrongs.
01:03:48.38
Amanda Morin
Right. And they may be different for each person.
01:03:49.51
Wednesday Lee Friday
so Okay, I see.
01:03:50.97
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah. um But it's not to say that it isn't a very common thing. It is a very common thing. You know, I yeah i worked with a ah wonderful teenager who was just like having trouble with a teacher and it was just like, I just want her to to pay for not doing it right.
01:04:08.09
Amanda Morin
And I was like, fair. Okay. I understand that impulse completely. Right. Like I get that. um And it was like, this teen was willing to put up with things that weren't comfortable for her, because she wanted the teacher to learn from it.
01:04:23.51
Amanda Morin
Right. And that that I think happened. So I think the part that gets gets me as i I hate to see us putting ourselves in situations where we continue to feel like we're not getting what we need, because we want somebody else to get what they deserve.
01:04:40.62
Amanda Morin
You know,
01:04:41.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, sure.
01:04:43.36
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:04:43.92
Wednesday Lee Friday
Sure, that makes sense.
01:04:44.30
Amanda Morin
But yet I do it too. Just going to say that. Yeah.
01:04:47.53
Wednesday Lee Friday
I definitely want to talk a lot about ah media. And ah my first question is, and I know you haven't like researched this specifically, but people with anxiety like to watch ah true crime, serial killer shows, ah horror shows, stuff like Dexter, American Horror Story um to relax.
01:04:51.81
Amanda Morin
Hmm.
01:05:10.65
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's that's how we relax. um is Is that something that you do?
01:05:16.01
Amanda Morin
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I am a true crime fan through and through. um i yes, it actually is. It's, you know, like, I'll be like, I've had the worst day. What's on 2020?
01:05:27.47
Amanda Morin
You know, like, who, what's the new documentary out about the new, you know, whatever that happened.
01:05:33.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, there are a lot of theories about like why that is.
01:05:33.57
Amanda Morin
It is something. Yeah. Yeah.
01:05:36.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
Do you ascribe to any of the popular theories?
01:05:41.32
Amanda Morin
I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I don't know that I've actually like done a deep dive into it. I think I'm a little afraid to figure out like what, what those theories are, to be honest.
01:05:49.88
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, sometimes it's just about how rewatching things is comforting because you have control over the situation.
01:05:50.16
Amanda Morin
I...
01:05:54.29
Amanda Morin
Well...
01:05:56.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know what's coming, so you're not going to get blindsided.
01:05:59.25
Amanda Morin
Yeah. And I think that that actually like that is definitely I've read research on that one. Right. I've read research on the fact that there are people like that when you people who have anxiety will come back to the same shows and books over and over and over again.
01:06:12.08
Wednesday Lee Friday
hu
01:06:12.15
Amanda Morin
And I am definitely one of those people. Like I i have things that I've read. um my gosh, like dozens and dozens and dozens of times. I have shows that I watch over and over and over again because my brain can shut off when I do it, right?
01:06:25.42
Amanda Morin
Because I don't even really have to pay attention to it because I know exactly what's happening.
01:06:25.89
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep, yep.
01:06:29.95
Amanda Morin
So I'm, I'm, it gives my, it quiets my head. Like i I haven't been able to say it in any other way. It quiets my head in a way that it doesn't quiet usually. And I think that that is the same for a lot of people who rewatch the things that they rewatch.
01:06:44.08
Amanda Morin
They have their comfort shows. It's like having comfort food, right? Because you don't have to decide whether you're like getting adjusting to the new taste or whatever.
01:06:48.72
Wednesday Lee Friday
Definitely.
01:06:52.11
Amanda Morin
You just know you like it. um
01:06:54.27
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, because there are shows that I love that I'm like reticent to sit and watch. When I had to catch up with Doctor Who, i had I had to kind of psych myself up because I don't know. Do you watch Doctor Who?
01:07:06.09
Amanda Morin
I don't. I don't.
01:07:07.00
Wednesday Lee Friday
Okay.
01:07:06.97
Amanda Morin
i My kids do though. My kids do.
01:07:08.47
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, one of the things about Doctor Who is that a lot of it is standalone stuff and there are some like arcs that last a few episodes or a season.
01:07:15.57
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:07:17.52
Wednesday Lee Friday
But the thing about Doctor Who is that one day you're going to get a hilarious episode about dinosaurs on a spaceship, and then the next day you're going to get something that changes how you think about all of reality and life itself, plus one of your favorite characters is going to die in a tragic way.
01:07:34.31
Wednesday Lee Friday
And you don't know which it's going to be.
01:07:34.86
Amanda Morin
yeah
01:07:36.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
you know So I'm much more likely to watch something like Dexter, where even if people are going to die, it's like, okay, well, this is black comedy, so I'm not going to end up
01:07:45.19
Amanda Morin
Yes.
01:07:47.43
Wednesday Lee Friday
emotionally devastated either way.
01:07:50.11
Amanda Morin
Because you know how it ties up in the end, right? Like it it has like, it has a predictable, there's going to be a neat little bow on this in some way.
01:07:52.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes.
01:08:01.75
Amanda Morin
You know, that's.
01:08:02.60
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, I was actually just talking about that with my husband in terms of like legal shows. Because when I was coming up,
01:08:08.34
Amanda Morin
Mm hmm.
01:08:09.75
Wednesday Lee Friday
the legal shows we were watching were things like LA law or law and order or the practice because so often on those shows, they're meant to keep viewers outraged.
01:08:13.16
Amanda Morin
I was just thinking that one. The practice. Yes.
01:08:21.88
Wednesday Lee Friday
So like somebody will be found guilty and then you'll find out they didn't do it or they'll get away with it.
01:08:22.10
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:08:27.20
Wednesday Lee Friday
And then they'll be laughing at their lawyer for helping them. And just, you know, they wanted outrage, but then like,
01:08:32.78
Amanda Morin
Right.
01:08:33.94
Wednesday Lee Friday
Kathy Bates just did that remake of Matlock. It it is very much that CBS style. every but you know The good guys are going to win.
01:08:40.06
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:08:42.34
Wednesday Lee Friday
There's a little suspense. You know, all these.
01:08:44.55
Amanda Morin
But it's a predictable formula, right?
01:08:46.55
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes.
01:08:46.95
Amanda Morin
Like the form it's formulaic. And I think the formulaic is the piece that, that soothes the brain that needs some sort of formula, right?
01:08:56.93
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and because it's Kathy Bates, you just want to hug her at the end of every episode.
01:08:56.95
Amanda Morin
Like that's, yeah. I mean, i mean, right.
01:09:01.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, be my mom! um
01:09:04.91
Amanda Morin
I love Kathy Bates. Oh my gosh.
01:09:06.41
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, she really is marvelous. so
01:09:08.80
Amanda Morin
Yeah. I, you know, and I think that it's interesting because i think a lot of us who do have those kinds of comfort shows, it depends on what we're going through in our lives. Right. So like there are times where, yeah, like a good binge of Dateline is going to like keep me really calm.
01:09:27.29
Amanda Morin
And then there are times where it has to be like, 20 minute rom-coms or like comedies or some things like that. So it depends on what's going to calm my brain. But, um, I mean, listen, documentaries, true crime, and like that is my, that is my place. I have friends who together, we have a a document that we call the doc doc, because we put our documentaries in the document.
01:09:50.42
Amanda Morin
So we can keep track of but what we're going to watch next or who's going to rate the doc on this one. So like the doc doc, like, is my happy place to like, pick up and and go like, what have I not watched yet?
01:10:01.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
nice
01:10:03.32
Amanda Morin
You know, Because I always know that in the end, there's some sort of resolution, whether it's like one I would have wanted or whether it's one that I predicted, not necessarily.
01:10:18.33
Amanda Morin
But there is a resolution, right? Because you can't have those shows without it resolving in some way.
01:10:23.84
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right. Of course, the problem with ah true crime documentaries now is that we're old enough to be like, no, I remember when that happened. That is not what the public was saying.
01:10:32.41
Amanda Morin
I know. A hundred percent. And now that there's like, people are going back and revisiting cases because of podcasts that are revisiting those cases. I, I'm always like, wait a second, wait a second.
01:10:44.72
Amanda Morin
But the headlines were, you know, at that time, right?
01:10:46.77
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right, right.
01:10:47.22
Amanda Morin
you Yeah. But it's kind of, it's kind of fun because my kids will watch it and they'll be like, I don't know anything about this. I'm like, but let me tell you, let me tell you what we were talking about at that time, you know, kind of thing.
01:10:56.45
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and even just the little details, because I find myself being furious about something I found out in the 90s.
01:10:57.04
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:11:03.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, no, that's not why he died. He died because the cops weren't listening and they were gay bashing and they took him back to the apartment. So you shut up. And I'm like, wait a minute. I'm really mad about a Jeff Dahmer victim. Like right now. Why am I feeling like that? and I'm to go watch Dexter.
01:11:20.66
Amanda Morin
Yeah, because that'll make sense.
01:11:23.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right? Well, it doesn't have to make sense.
01:11:24.76
Amanda Morin
eight
01:11:25.58
Wednesday Lee Friday
It just has to make me feel better.
01:11:27.66
Amanda Morin
Exactly. Exactly. And like, I think that there is such value in being able to say like, this is what makes me feel better. Right. And we all need that thing right now, if nothing else, we need to be able to say, this makes me feel better.
01:11:36.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
01:11:41.22
Amanda Morin
And I don't need you to understand it. I just need you to believe it. Right. That's, that's a big part of everything I do and all the work I do, whether with students or teachers or families or whatever,
01:11:52.77
Amanda Morin
is that idea that like you don't have to understand it, you don't even have to agree with it, but just believe it's true, right? just Just believe that when I say something to you about what makes me feel better or what's going on in my brain that like it's true.
01:12:06.73
Amanda Morin
You don't, you know, just believe me. I wouldn't just make it up, you
01:12:08.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, and that is such an enormous problem that we have in society, is that people do not believe each other about their own experiences.
01:12:13.33
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:12:17.31
Amanda Morin
Right.
01:12:17.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
you know
01:12:18.84
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:12:19.27
Wednesday Lee Friday
And we just saw that with the big Diddy court case and people saying, well, no, clearly this is abuse. And then people want to tell you why. Maybe it wasn't. Or maybe she's remembering it wrong.
01:12:30.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
Or maybe...
01:12:30.76
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:12:31.32
Wednesday Lee Friday
She's lying because she dated somebody else one time and they said, yeah I mean, just, it's all such bullshit. And yet, you know, if we can't believe that people understand their own life, we're not going to make it as a society.
01:12:43.92
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:12:47.00
Amanda Morin
Agreed, agreed. And so like, we may not.
01:12:48.07
Wednesday Lee Friday
and and it's entirely possible that we won't. Cause I mean, Maka boys tell me every day what my life is and they never even remotely get it right.
01:12:52.24
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:12:58.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah.
01:13:00.30
Amanda Morin
I mean, that's also the downside of social media too, right? Is all the people who tell you like, no, no, no, no you're wrong about you. You're wrong about you. And I'm just like, um I'm wrong about me. I'm sorry. What?
01:13:11.72
Amanda Morin
Yeah. I don't know.
01:13:13.01
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, okay, fine. I get big fat disability checks plus checks from George Soros. You figured me out.
01:13:18.87
Amanda Morin
Exactly. Exactly.
01:13:20.35
Wednesday Lee Friday
I only hate Trump because someone's making me. Yeah. never arrive at that conclusion on my own. You are so smart, sir.
01:13:31.76
Wednesday Lee Friday
So let me ask you this.
01:13:31.97
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
01:13:33.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
In terms of um and general movies and TV, not necessarily specialty stuff, but mainstream stuff, are there any depictions of autism that you think are truthful?
01:13:46.27
Amanda Morin
Oh, boy.
01:13:48.74
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because, I mean, Rain Man is the thing that everybody thinks about when they think of autism, and so if you're not
01:13:51.20
Amanda Morin
I know.
01:13:54.33
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know, talking about Wapner and repeating yourself and and counting matchsticks when they fall down that you must not be autistic.
01:13:57.47
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
01:14:01.37
Amanda Morin
So I think, yeah, no, and i and I think the interesting thing is the ones that I see that have been most reliable or most accurate are what we would call autistic coded, right?
01:14:01.45
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm
01:14:13.69
Amanda Morin
And what that means is like in the media, they're not specifically saying this character has autism, right?
01:14:13.96
Wednesday Lee Friday
hmm.
01:14:19.69
Amanda Morin
It's not being said out loud. It's you're watching that sort of unfold and those of us who know what it's like to be autistic are like, oh my gosh, hey, that's one of my people, right?
01:14:30.22
Amanda Morin
Like, But I don't think Dexter, I think.
01:14:31.38
Wednesday Lee Friday
Dexter? I think Dexter is autistic. I'll stand by that.
01:14:34.29
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah. I think probably Dexter. Yeah. And I think that there are a couple of others um that come to mind. And, you know, it's interesting, like, I think about the Big Bang Theory, right? And that's a whole, like, sort of, at the very beginning of that series, Sheldon was very sort of autistic coded, right?
01:14:54.74
Amanda Morin
and In a way that that's very, it was sort of stereotypical.
01:14:55.24
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
01:14:58.81
Amanda Morin
And then he evolved, his character evolved, and nobody ever, ever said this character has autism. And I remember reading interviews with the writers and and the you know the executive producer and saying like having them say, like we really wanted people to sort of take from that character what they wanted to take from that character and not tell them what to take from that character.
01:15:22.12
Amanda Morin
And I think those are the ones that are done really well. i think like I think about like the good doctor, for example, as an autistic character and think it's harmful to see those stereotypical kinds of things that are not true for all people. I think one of the things we see in media around autism is that autistic savant trope comes up over and over again.
01:15:44.83
Wednesday Lee Friday
hu
01:15:46.48
Amanda Morin
And it's subtle sometimes and it's not so subtle in other times. And one of the things that like drives me bananas about that is the idea that like if you are autistic or you have but any other kind of disability, this trope, it's called the crypt trope.
01:16:00.88
Amanda Morin
I don't know if you've ever heard the crypt trope. The crypt trope says like basically if you're disabled, you have to have something that makes up for it to be worthy to be in society, right?
01:16:11.73
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh shit.
01:16:13.36
Amanda Morin
it's It's a whole thing, right? It's a whole thing. And I don't love it.
01:16:16.12
Wednesday Lee Friday
and See, you know i'm now that you're saying that, I'm thinking of like a bunch of different examples of it, and it's making me really mad, so I'm gonna need a minute. Oh my god.
01:16:26.18
Amanda Morin
Take that time.
01:16:26.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm like furious right now.
01:16:26.86
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:16:28.19
Wednesday Lee Friday
No, that that makes so much sense.
01:16:28.39
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:16:30.94
Amanda Morin
Right. And so that's where I get stuck.
01:16:31.18
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because there's that Predator movie where there's a kid with autism, and basically the Predators decided that autism is the next step of human evolution.
01:16:33.33
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
01:16:39.71
Amanda Morin
yeah And why couldn't he just be?
01:16:40.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
And I actually brought that up with another guest once, and they were like, um, no...
01:16:42.58
Amanda Morin
No.
01:16:45.96
Wednesday Lee Friday
No!
01:16:45.89
Amanda Morin
no
01:16:46.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
What the hell? No!
01:16:48.64
Amanda Morin
And that's part of the cryptrope, right? That's part of the cryptrope. Like, and I, a lot of times I'm just like, can't they just, can't we just like exist and have nothing extraordinary about us and like still be valuable?
01:17:00.19
Amanda Morin
Cause I think so. Right. I think like I, you know, and sometimes I feel really kind of like torn about being successful, having written a number of books that I've done well, because I'm like, am I playing into that trope? you know, and I don't want to play into that trope.
01:17:15.91
Amanda Morin
Maybe I could just be an ordinary sit in my house wanting to write a book that and I never write kind of person. And that would be fine too, you know?
01:17:26.83
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah.
01:17:27.13
Amanda Morin
So, so I just introduced the whole thing to you to make you more angry and I'm so sorry.
01:17:29.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's...
01:17:33.96
Wednesday Lee Friday
No, no, see? One of the things I say ah is that I would rather be... annoyed by like an irksome truth than charmed by an enticing lie.
01:17:45.55
Wednesday Lee Friday
So if there's something bad happening, I need to know about it just so I could know about it.
01:17:46.38
Amanda Morin
Ooh.
01:17:48.98
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:17:50.91
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know, I can't just have myself not knowing difficult things because they're uncomfortable and then I got to have feelings and think about them because that's, that's kind of my whole deal.
01:17:50.85
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:17:56.09
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:17:59.75
Amanda Morin
yeah yeah
01:18:01.95
Wednesday Lee Friday
you know, I'm a, I'm a writer. So it's all about, figuring stuff out and writing it down and then someone dies at the end because I'm mostly a horror writer. um Well, no, I'm actually re-releasing my first book in a couple of weeks.
01:18:18.33
Wednesday Lee Friday
um
01:18:18.49
Amanda Morin
Oh, congrats. Amazing.
01:18:19.71
Wednesday Lee Friday
It's third a third edition. Yeah, I'm excited because this was the first book I ever wrote and I wrote it as NaNoWriMo novel because I had just lost my job and I'm like, okay, you know what I'm going to Something positive with all this time I just got handed even though I'm really sad.
01:18:35.80
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:18:36.05
Wednesday Lee Friday
And it's it's a total Mary Sue.
01:18:36.49
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:18:38.21
Wednesday Lee Friday
Total Mary Sue. It's about a fat, mentally ill chick who murders her mom. um And then spends the whole book explaining why. so... And it's it's ah the kind of thing that I think if I was a 15-year-old me, I would have made my whole life about this book.
01:18:57.34
Wednesday Lee Friday
Because it's it's just like, you know, that the deep dive into the emotional, mentally ill girl.
01:18:57.66
Amanda Morin
Interesting.
01:19:04.91
Wednesday Lee Friday
And... ah
01:19:05.19
Amanda Morin
And I mean, I was just gonna say the cool thing about being able to re-release it is you have like that perspective.
01:19:07.21
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, please, go ahead.
01:19:11.97
Amanda Morin
You can go back and say like, here's something I wanted to explore more. Here's something I, you know, I want to change or here's, you know, i don't know. i
01:19:20.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm having a difficult time with it because i i don't want to reread it. Like every time I reread it it's well, because I mean, it's a fictionalized version of my life.
01:19:25.60
Amanda Morin
oh
01:19:31.48
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:19:31.57
Wednesday Lee Friday
So it's extremely, extremely emotional.
01:19:31.67
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:19:34.21
Wednesday Lee Friday
And some of it's funny. And some of it is like, okay, Wednesday, did you really have to be so up your own ass in the scene? I mean, yes, you had feelings and everything, but calm down.
01:19:41.79
Amanda Morin
yeah
01:19:45.27
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like some of it's just overwrought. And then some of it seems overwrought because I'm still... Far less uncomfortable with my own emotions than other people's because I've been told that emotions are i mean, I was basically raised by people that are MAGA people now.
01:20:00.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know, like that whole mindset of like, you know, empathy is for suckers and helping people.
01:20:01.23
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:20:06.35
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, what do you just want everybody to like you? That's so weak. And just, you know, those mindsets.
01:20:10.09
Amanda Morin
h
01:20:12.44
Wednesday Lee Friday
So, well, and then later I found out that like, oh, your apnea was actually like killing you and making all of your body not develop right. Plus you had autism and you didn't know.
01:20:22.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
and Like, just, you know, it's all a rich tapestry, right?
01:20:23.97
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:20:27.01
Amanda Morin
It is.
01:20:27.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
but But then to to put that in a book before really knowing any of that, like I had been told I was bipolar
01:20:27.71
Amanda Morin
It is. Yeah.
01:20:36.60
Wednesday Lee Friday
Maybe a month before. Actually, no, it was around the time I started writing that book because that was the other thing I did with my downtime. As I said, actually, I said, oh no, I'm not going to be able to afford afford all the drugs I want to do to keep me sane. Maybe I should see a psychiatrist.
01:20:52.96
Wednesday Lee Friday
And that's that was what I did. And that was what I started getting because, I mean, that honestly, my biggest fear when I lost my job was, holy shit, how am I going to buy weed? Because I had a boyfriend at the time who is my husband now.
01:21:07.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
And he absolutely took care of my insane ass. And he would buy me anything I needed, but not weed. So that was my panic. It was like, oh no, my drugs.
01:21:19.08
Wednesday Lee Friday
Which, in hindsight, not not a very positive thing to to know about yourself.
01:21:19.07
Amanda Morin
Oh my God. Yeah.
01:21:25.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
that like... Like, oh, I won't be able to contribute meaningfully meaningfully to the household, but no, seriously, about the weed, what are we going to do
01:21:27.35
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:21:34.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
You know?
01:21:35.62
Amanda Morin
i'm Do you, so do you look at the, like, do you look at the book now and have like a different, I don't know, like feeling for the person you were then?
01:21:46.43
Amanda Morin
Like, do you have more compassion for, for yourself in reading it again?
01:21:51.94
Wednesday Lee Friday
In, in, on some issues, yes, there are definitely issues where I thought, you know, like most of the stuff having to do with men and like, you know, being sad because a man was treating me in a way.
01:21:54.81
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:21:59.53
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:22:04.35
Wednesday Lee Friday
And, and I have a lot more like, ah, you, ah, it's i you know, but then there's other stuff that's like, my God, how much time did you waste on this?
01:22:04.34
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:22:09.01
Amanda Morin
Yeah, yeah.
01:22:14.94
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, a lot.
01:22:16.84
Amanda Morin
just I was just a curiosity. like I just was wondering, like how how do other people look back at their themselves after they have more knowledge and go like, oh, do I think, yeah.
01:22:26.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, with with a a mix of ah embarrassment and admiration. alternative Alternatively, i think. Alternately? That's the word. Alternately.
01:22:35.93
Amanda Morin
Yeah, that that tracks for me too.
01:22:37.10
Wednesday Lee Friday
um
01:22:37.92
Amanda Morin
Yeah, no that's how I would do it too. I actually would probably lean heavily into the embarrassment on my end, but just like, you know, so.
01:22:45.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, you know, at one point after I moved into this apartment, I found like my old poetry notebook from high school.
01:22:52.03
Amanda Morin
Oh boy.
01:22:52.75
Wednesday Lee Friday
Holy shit. Yeah.
01:22:55.53
Amanda Morin
Oh boy.
01:22:55.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, wow, I really thought I was a good poet poet then. And then you look and like, I mean, I have Edgar Allan Poe fanfic in my poetry notebook from high school.
01:23:07.25
Wednesday Lee Friday
Like, oh, I'm going to rewrite The Raven about a thunderstorm.
01:23:07.70
Amanda Morin
Oh.
01:23:10.05
Wednesday Lee Friday
And I put, I published it like within the last five years, I put it in one of my horror collections because I'm like, this is so ridiculous that it's almost a lie to pretend I didn't write it.
01:23:21.72
Wednesday Lee Friday
So I'm going to publish it.
01:23:23.91
Amanda Morin
That's amazing. That's I, you know, i so i mentioned to you that we had just moved across the country and had to go through all of our stuff, right, and pack up.
01:23:30.55
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah.
01:23:32.91
Amanda Morin
And I was finding like notebooks and and and journals and things like that. i was like, whoa, who was I even, you know, like, I don't even remember this version of me.
01:23:41.66
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
01:23:43.58
Amanda Morin
um Which, you know, and sometimes you go like, oh, I kind of missed that version of me. And then sometimes you're like, whoa, I was a lot. was I was
01:23:51.74
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
01:23:54.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah.
01:23:55.44
Amanda Morin
you know
01:23:55.67
Wednesday Lee Friday
It's like you look back and say, wait a minute. One of the guys that called me his crazy ex-girlfriend was absolutely right. Most of them were not.
01:24:03.81
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:24:05.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
but But yeah, there's there's that one guy.
01:24:06.58
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:24:08.98
Wednesday Lee Friday
um I actually would like to get into some of the non-book related work that you do.
01:24:14.27
Amanda Morin
Sure.
01:24:15.56
Wednesday Lee Friday
um
01:24:15.49
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:24:16.35
Wednesday Lee Friday
Now, so there are companies and like schools that are going out of their way
01:24:19.98
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:24:21.98
Wednesday Lee Friday
to meet the needs of neurodivergent folks. So what, ah who are who are your typical clients and like, what specifically is it that you do for them?
01:24:31.19
Amanda Morin
Sure. So, you know, I've worked with school districts, like big school districts, small school districts, individual schools. I've worked with very big companies, you know, um and I've worked with like little practices like speech therapy practices. So I've worked from sort of the gamut.
01:24:47.24
Amanda Morin
And when I'm working with school districts, a lot of the work I do is literally just sort of talking through what is neurodivergent? What is neurodiversity? What is ah executive functioning? Like what are these skills that we expect kids to have and their brains aren't ready to have them yet?
01:25:05.58
Amanda Morin
And so how do we recognize when it's willful versus when it's not willful, but it's actually just like a deficit or like a ah need, right? Kind of thing. So I do a lot of that work. It's interesting to me that I've progressed from talking about what is neurodiversity and neurodivergence to like specific things. So I do a lot of work with school districts right now around how do you rethink what behavior, you know, and I quotation mark behavior because everything is sort of a behavior.
01:25:33.48
Amanda Morin
But like I do a lot of work around like what is the context in which you're seeing that behavior and like what could other explanations be And a lot of it sort of comes down to like communication sometimes, right? Like what are you communicating? How are you being understood? How are the kids being understood? So I do a lot of that work.
01:25:49.95
Amanda Morin
When I'm doing works with works, wow, when I'm doing work with companies, it depends on what they're looking for, right? Some of them, it's manager training. They're looking for how does their middle management or managers work?
01:26:03.00
Amanda Morin
work with neurodivergent employees to understand better how to make sure that everybody's working well together. i do a lot of that work around reframing because people always say, you know, well, ah we have to accommodate. And I'm always just like, hold up, hold up. Right. Like, let's let's think about this for a minute.
01:26:23.25
Amanda Morin
And I do a lot of reframing around like, what do each of your employees need to be their most productive self? Like, let's not look at this as like, what do they need to like accommodate this disability?
01:26:30.16
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
01:26:33.99
Amanda Morin
You know, because people have this like, oh, we have to do this legal thing. And I do a lot of work around like, how do you actually allow for space for people to say, this is what I need to be productive, right?
01:26:48.45
Amanda Morin
Whether it's, I need you to install like Grammarly on all of my email stuff so I don't mess that up, right? Or whether it's like, I need to be able to work in a room where I can close all the doors and nobody thinks I'm being antisocial because that's how I get my work done best, right?
01:27:06.17
Amanda Morin
So do a lot of work around understanding that there are different ways of working that actually contribute to building really strong teams. um One of my favorite things to have done, Noggin, which was part of Nickelodeon, and then it just, somebody just reopened it, which is amazing, but Nickelodeon had sort of
01:27:28.47
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, cool. No, I remember that.
01:27:29.57
Amanda Morin
dropped it off. Yeah. I did some very cool work with the content creators at Noggin to talk through how can you, um how can you show sort of the traits of ADHD or autism or something like that in your characters without being like, hit you over the head with it kind of thing.
01:27:49.70
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
01:27:49.80
Amanda Morin
And that was some of the most fun I had was to talk through what what does that look like? And I had fun there because I took some of the characters they already had. And I was like, you're already showing this. Let's look at like the traits of this character and what could that be like coded for, which was super fun.
01:28:04.97
Amanda Morin
um And sometimes I'll do like sensitivity reading work, right? So I'll look at books or I'll look at scripts that all, and I'll look to see like, are there things in there that they need to change, that they need to pick differently?
01:28:18.31
Amanda Morin
um So like I do a whole variety of different kinds of work, but all all of it with the goal of being like, The goal is to understand the people around you better and to make sure that you are providing ways that we can all exist in the same environment, right?
01:28:38.50
Amanda Morin
Or ways that people can say, this environment isn't working for me and here's the change that I am needing to make for me to be a better version of myself. And that's the reframing I do over and over again.
01:28:49.76
Amanda Morin
It's not that we're accommodating people because they need us to be like, aware of them. It's because we want everybody to be thriving in the way that they can thrive, right? And that success looks different for everybody.
01:29:03.02
Amanda Morin
And I think that that's an important component of the work that I do too, because a lot of times, you know, at workplaces, people are measuring against KPIs or OKRs or goals or things like that.
01:29:14.33
Amanda Morin
But sometimes it's like,
01:29:14.74
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes.
01:29:16.36
Amanda Morin
Right. But sometimes we have to go like, what else could success look like? And what are you not measuring? And so sometimes I'll talk about like people have this whole thing around soft skills. Right. And I'm just like, they're just skills.
01:29:28.03
Amanda Morin
They're just skills. They're not soft skills.
01:29:29.43
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right?
01:29:30.29
Amanda Morin
They're skills. And just like any other skill, we need to explicitly teach those skills and to expect people to pick them up is not fair. Right. And so I have a whole conversation around that no matter where I am, whether it's with teachers or parents or employers to say like these skills that you think people are going to pick up like conversation or the ability to ask clarifying questions or whatever that is it's not intuitive like don't assume it's intuitive yeah
01:29:56.98
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, totally. And like, i i worked customer service jobs for decades without knowing that I was autistic.
01:30:06.11
Amanda Morin
yeah yeah
01:30:06.27
Wednesday Lee Friday
And ah let me just tell you, that made things much more difficult than they should have been. Because part of, well, part of what I didn't understand is that I would say to a customer, well, no, that's that's not right.
01:30:20.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
What you're saying is wrong and I'm not doing it because that's wrong. And you're not supposed to do that.
01:30:24.85
Amanda Morin
Right.
01:30:27.24
Wednesday Lee Friday
You're supposed to smile and pretend that you're really sorry that you can't do what they want, but they're wrong. Why the hell should I do that? They're being an idiot.
01:30:34.20
Amanda Morin
Right.
01:30:34.50
Wednesday Lee Friday
Why do I have to talk to idiots all day?
01:30:35.02
Amanda Morin
Right.
01:30:37.02
Wednesday Lee Friday
And the thing is, as far as I am concerned, part of the job of an employer is to provide the tools that employees need to do their job effectively.
01:30:48.41
Amanda Morin
Completely.
01:30:48.51
Wednesday Lee Friday
And so if you don't tell me that I need to show profound empathy to mean idiots, I won't think of that on my own.
01:30:58.08
Amanda Morin
Of course not.
01:30:58.34
Wednesday Lee Friday
That's not, you know, I won't say, well, right.
01:31:00.68
Amanda Morin
Not explicitly. Yeah. Yeah.
01:31:03.41
Wednesday Lee Friday
and And that's the thing is that when it's time to get you to sell things, businesses will dissect the entire selling process. But when it's something like interpersonal skills, you know, because they'll say, well, you seem great in the interview. You were you were wonderful. well Everybody likes you.
01:31:20.75
Wednesday Lee Friday
So why do you have so many confrontations with customers?
01:31:22.97
Amanda Morin
Mm-hmm.
01:31:24.14
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'm like, i I can't help it if they're wrong and stupid and want me to give them free stuff. That's not, I mean, if you want to give me permission to give everybody free stuff to make my day easier, we can do that.
01:31:30.98
Amanda Morin
Right.
01:31:36.43
Wednesday Lee Friday
But yeah, there are so many things that just like, Because they're right. I'm not stupid and I'm not mean. And yet I am having a lot of customer confrontations because there's something missing and I never fully came to appreciate what that was.
01:31:52.91
Amanda Morin
Well, in workplaces, a lot too, right? There's a lot of unspoken stuff, right?
01:31:57.07
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes.
01:31:57.01
Amanda Morin
There's a lot of, or there's a lot of like, we're going to say one thing, but we actually mean something else.
01:32:02.20
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes. Like people asking you questions that they don't want answers to, for example.
01:32:02.47
Amanda Morin
And. Right,
01:32:07.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
And then when you give them the answer to the question they just asked you then suddenly you're being a smartass and you're being difficult. And just like, what the fuck did you ask me for then?
01:32:15.16
Amanda Morin
right. right
01:32:18.11
Amanda Morin
And so a lot of the work that I'm doing is around saying like, are you actually being clear to the people? And some of that is like, because they've come to me and said like, how do I work with my neurodivergent employees?
01:32:32.14
Amanda Morin
And some of that, I'm just like, okay, let's expand this a little bit and go, would this just be helpful for all of your employees, right? Like to be direct, to be explicit.
01:32:38.08
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
01:32:41.19
Amanda Morin
to explain what the expectations are, to show an exemplar of what it should look like in the end. You know, like all of these things are just good practice for humans to understand what they are supposed to be doing, right?
01:32:52.39
Amanda Morin
Like, I don't know. I think one of the things that I spend a lot of time on is is talking to people around like, what is your goal? Is your goal to have a functioning team or is your goal to have a gotcha, right?
01:33:04.40
Amanda Morin
Because if your goal is to have a gotcha, I think you're doing it okay. But if your goal is to have a functioning team, you have to dial back on the like, gotchas, right?
01:33:10.84
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep.
01:33:12.61
Amanda Morin
Like that, that catch you on on on doing something wrong.
01:33:13.22
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
01:33:15.94
Amanda Morin
So And it's a lot of it comes down to communication, a lot of it. And I mean, frankly, you know, the first time I was running a team, the first time I was in an executive position, nobody taught me how to do it.
01:33:28.61
Amanda Morin
Right. And I probably learned a lot more. by the seat of my pants than I should have. And it's and in everybody's best interest for us to train people on how to be managerial, if you will, right?
01:33:43.94
Amanda Morin
Like, not how to get the work done, but like how to work with people, because that is hard.
01:33:44.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
who
01:33:49.66
Amanda Morin
It is really, really hard. And it it really relies on you being willing to take a step back and go, okay, the people I work for are not just, or I work with, aren't just there to produce a thing for me.
01:34:04.25
Amanda Morin
They're there for us to like, right, right, right.
01:34:05.31
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right, they're full human beings that are doing this as part of the life that they're living.
01:34:08.45
Amanda Morin
And
01:34:11.03
Amanda Morin
Right. And at the end of the day, like, honestly, most people are at their job so they can have a paycheck. Right. and So like this, I don't know, I'm going to go off on something for a minute and you're just gonna have to have to roll with this.
01:34:23.06
Wednesday Lee Friday
Let me get comfortable.
01:34:23.02
Amanda Morin
That whole idea that the, the, uh, there were, we're one big family. i always think like, oh my God, family is so dysfunctional.
01:34:29.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
oh
01:34:32.51
Amanda Morin
Like we don't want to do that.
01:34:33.07
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, they are.
01:34:34.15
Amanda Morin
You know, like the, you know, we're not a big family. We're a bunch of people who have to learn how to work together. And that means we have to learn how to communicate. and that means we have to mean what we say.
01:34:44.81
Amanda Morin
and that means if we don't mean what we say, we have to be clear about that and tell people when it's okay to say something different than what you mean. And when you're expected to like tell little white lies or, you know, all of those kinds of things that are so, so hard for so many of us to grasp.
01:34:57.00
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
01:35:02.73
Amanda Morin
I don't know. So that's, you know, some of the hardest work I do and some of the most rewarding when I see somebody go, oh, yeah, no. Okay. Yeah, no, I never explained that, like, we don't say that out loud.
01:35:15.88
Amanda Morin
Right. Or, ah you know, one of the things that people who have worked with me will will joke about, and it's it's actually hilarious because my family jokes about it too, is I um narrate my facial expressions to people. Yeah.
01:35:28.53
Amanda Morin
So like, will be on like a phone call or I'll be in a meeting and I'll be on looking off to the side and I'll be like, this is my thinking face. Right. And I don't do it on purpose. I think I just do it because i raised autistic kids and I just got used to doing that. And then I realized it's helpful for everybody.
01:35:45.32
Amanda Morin
So I'll be like, I'm not angry at you. I'm just thinking really hard. Or what you're seeing right now is confusion. You know, or, or, you know, I'm kind of mad. Like, so you'll like, I'll narrate that out loud.
01:35:58.38
Amanda Morin
And it's funny to see how many people are like, I'm going to do that. I'm going to start narrating my facial expressions. I'm like, you should, you absolutely should.
01:36:05.69
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, don't don't guess and don't make people guess.
01:36:05.96
Amanda Morin
Because yeah, don't make people guess, right? Because they're, they don't know. They don't know what it is.
01:36:12.49
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well... And I mean, like, I tend to assume that everyone hates me and everyone is annoyed with me at any time if we're disagreeing. So if I have to guess what your facial expression means, I'll probably guess something far worse than what you're actually thinking.
01:36:26.81
Amanda Morin
Right. Or like when somebody says to you, i need, we need to talk. I don't know about you, but I like, Oh God, what happened?
01:36:30.80
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh my god, never say that to me.
01:36:31.86
Amanda Morin
What'd I do?
01:36:32.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
Just say it.
01:36:32.70
Amanda Morin
What'd I do?
01:36:33.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
Just say the thing. Whatever it is, just blurt it out.
01:36:35.92
Amanda Morin
Totally. I do this.
01:36:37.57
Wednesday Lee Friday
Don't leave me in suspense.
01:36:39.42
Amanda Morin
I do this thing with um sort of the people that I manage or um I have a like ah ah user's guide to working with me, right? And I fill one out and I and i give it to them so like they know what things make me nervous. They know my communication style. They know the weird things that might come out of my mouth or You know, and they know when I, um you know, whether I need time to process or how much time, it you know, like, so it's a whole sort of like user's guide.
01:37:04.42
Wednesday Lee Friday
Mm-hmm.
01:37:05.78
Amanda Morin
And then I ask them if they're willing to fill one out so I can understand them better. I think we all need to have a user's guide that goes along with us so that you can know that when I say to you,
01:37:17.70
Amanda Morin
you know Or when you say to me, we need to talk, I'm going to have a panic. I'm going to full-on panic until we actually figure out like I know why you need to talk to me. Even if it's like, we need to talk because like you want to go out to lunch.
01:37:30.78
Amanda Morin
Put that other thing on the end there because otherwise I'm going to be like... freaking out until I know why you wanted to talk to me because I don't know. I'm going to assume the worst. to fire me. I'm doing something terrible.
01:37:41.31
Amanda Morin
I said the wrong thing. Like my mind goes to bad places. So I tell people that up front, like I'm going to need you to be specific.
01:37:45.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yep, yep.
01:37:50.07
Amanda Morin
um And if it's something that I'm doing wrong, I'd rather know that than imagine all the things that it could be.
01:37:58.09
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yes, exactly.
01:37:59.21
Amanda Morin
Yeah. Yeah.
01:38:00.81
Wednesday Lee Friday
So we're actually getting to the end of our time, and I want to make sure that there is nothing that ah yeah there's no topic that you wanted to cover that we haven't gotten to yet.
01:38:01.06
Amanda Morin
Oh man. Yeah.
01:38:11.00
Amanda Morin
I think we've covered so many topics. I love this.
01:38:13.30
Wednesday Lee Friday
We have.
01:38:13.40
Amanda Morin
Like, yeah.
01:38:13.90
Wednesday Lee Friday
We're fascinating. We are fascinating people.
01:38:15.56
Amanda Morin
Aren't we?
01:38:18.15
Wednesday Lee Friday
um do Do you have any questions for me? Because I do love to give guests a chance to ask me something if there's something that ah you want to know.
01:38:26.83
Amanda Morin
There isn't. I've learned so much about you just through this conversation, like in like the best possible way. Like I'm going to be very explicit in saying like it's been really fun to just have a conversation, right? Because I really enjoy just like learning about people through organic conversations. So I've really enjoyed it.
01:38:45.00
Amanda Morin
um i also enjoy another person who will just drop the F-bomb all the time because... that is my That is my non-professional self right you there. um Sometimes my professional self, but that's all whole other story, right?
01:38:56.99
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, and it's always funny because sometimes people that I know like in real life will say, is it okay to swear on the show?
01:38:58.23
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:39:04.09
Wednesday Lee Friday
like What are the odds that I would make a show that you can't swear on?
01:39:05.08
Amanda Morin
Yeah.
01:39:08.78
Wednesday Lee Friday
You also have to be stone cold sober and under 120 pounds.
01:39:08.96
Amanda Morin
I love that.
01:39:12.26
Wednesday Lee Friday
What are you even talking about?
01:39:15.39
Amanda Morin
I just failed all of that. Yeah. No, no, wait, no, I didn't fail the stone cold sober unless you count like caffeine because I'm highly caffeinated right now.
01:39:18.44
Wednesday Lee Friday
yeah
01:39:23.47
Amanda Morin
So, you know.
01:39:23.98
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, I think whether or not caffeine counts as a drug really depends on who you're asking. Because you can tell Mountain Dew me from non-Mountain Dew me. it's It's pretty obvious.
01:39:36.21
Wednesday Lee Friday
but But for some people, like my husband can drink Mountain Dew and then go to bed.
01:39:36.34
Amanda Morin
Same here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
01:39:41.34
Wednesday Lee Friday
I don't i don't know how he's even doing that. But
01:39:44.21
Amanda Morin
Does he ADHD? Yeah.
01:39:46.37
Wednesday Lee Friday
ah not technically. officially. Not officially.
01:39:50.11
Amanda Morin
random fact, random fact that some people who have ADHD, the caffeine does the same thing that like a stimulant would, and it like calms down that, that center of the brain and people actually will drink caffeine to get sleepy.
01:40:05.07
Wednesday Lee Friday
ah
01:40:05.16
Amanda Morin
Just, just a random fact. That's like, yeah.
01:40:07.53
Wednesday Lee Friday
That is wild. It really is.
01:40:09.76
Amanda Morin
Anyway, sorry.
01:40:10.04
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, guess what? yeah Well, the good news is it's time for the Mad Lib.
01:40:15.08
Amanda Morin
Alrighty, let's do it. Yay.
01:40:16.66
Wednesday Lee Friday
All right. So let's see. It looks like one, two three. I need three plural nouns.
01:40:25.34
Amanda Morin
Three plural nouns. Okay, let's see here. Cups.
01:40:31.94
Amanda Morin
um
01:40:34.74
Amanda Morin
Boy, I can't think of anything fun. Cups, cars, and ostriches.
01:40:40.94
Wednesday Lee Friday
I'll tell you, part of the ah the issue with this is that the smarter and more creative someone is, the more difficult time they have with Mad Libs because the pressure is on to pick interesting words.
01:40:53.88
Wednesday Lee Friday
um And I i don't, ah yeah, that's, I get it. I definitely get it. So let's see.
01:40:59.64
Amanda Morin
yeah
01:41:00.28
Wednesday Lee Friday
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight singular nouns. Good heavens. That's a lot.
01:41:07.74
Amanda Morin
That is a lot. Okay. Oh my goodness. Bookcase. Banana. um feel like I'm going on a theme here. Cantaloupe.
01:41:19.65
Amanda Morin
um That's three, right? Bookcase, banana, cantaloupe, chocolate, table, scissors, scissors,
01:41:22.18
Wednesday Lee Friday
huh
01:41:29.31
Amanda Morin
No, scissors is a singular. Scissor, I guess. um Hat.
01:41:35.13
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, scissors sounds like a verb, so we'll use scissors as a noun.
01:41:37.02
Amanda Morin
Right? Yeah, that's true.
01:41:38.05
Wednesday Lee Friday
and Okay, and then ah two more.
01:41:38.81
Amanda Morin
That's true. Yeah. Okay. um Hat and flip-flop.
01:41:48.27
Wednesday Lee Friday
Okay, I need three adjectives.
01:41:52.57
Amanda Morin
um Blue. Happy. Short.
01:42:01.73
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oop, I lied. One more.
01:42:04.24
Amanda Morin
Oh, no. um um um
01:42:06.92
Wednesday Lee Friday
and Okay, I need one adverb.
01:42:08.55
Amanda Morin
Purple.
01:42:15.56
Amanda Morin
Softly.
01:42:17.59
Wednesday Lee Friday
And one celebrity.
01:42:21.35
Amanda Morin
a Oh, no. Big Bird.
01:42:26.89
Amanda Morin
I'm going to call Big Bird a celebrity.
01:42:29.51
Wednesday Lee Friday
Okay. Well, no, I mean, I know who it is. They must be famous. so ah All right. So this is called Baseball's Biggest Fan. I am the world's biggest fan of the game of baseball, whether it's played by professional cups or little league cars.
01:42:48.68
Wednesday Lee Friday
I watch all the games on the big screen bookcase in our family banana. I have a cantaloupe autographed by Big Bird. the most blue player who ever lived.
01:43:02.64
Wednesday Lee Friday
I even named my dog Ostriches after my favorite chocolate. And when my happy parents asked me where I'd like to go this year on vacation, I said Cooperstown, of course, so I could visit the baseball hall of table.
01:43:20.20
Wednesday Lee Friday
This year for my birthday, i am hoping to get 32-inch baseball scissors made of northern white ash, just like the short sluggers use. Some people go through life seeking purple wisdom and asking questions like, what's the meaning of hat?
01:43:37.48
Wednesday Lee Friday
And what's the secret to living softly? All I want to know is who's pitching and who's on flip-flop.
01:43:46.30
Amanda Morin
Wow.
01:43:47.62
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, irreverent.
01:43:49.51
Amanda Morin
It's like beat poetry.
01:43:51.47
Wednesday Lee Friday
Right?
01:43:52.40
Amanda Morin
Yeah, I love this. i love this.
01:43:54.39
Wednesday Lee Friday
Amanda, I am so glad that you could be here and have this conversation with me. I learned a ton of stuff and I hope that listeners did too.
01:43:58.98
Amanda Morin
Thank you so much.
01:44:03.57
Amanda Morin
It's been a joy. It's a great conversation. Thanks for having me. I really appreciate it.
01:44:06.83
Wednesday Lee Friday
Oh, it is it is our pleasure. I always use the royal we.
01:44:11.11
Amanda Morin
I see. Amazing.
01:44:12.46
Wednesday Lee Friday
Yeah, I always say our, but like it's it's me. It's me thing. Nobody helps me. um Not like the magazine, because we're sponsored by sometimes hilarious horror magazine, which is also largely me.
01:44:24.54
Wednesday Lee Friday
But we have an assistant ah curator now. She's the assistant editor, and she's great. ah We have a graphics guy.
01:44:30.42
Amanda Morin
i mean
01:44:32.11
Wednesday Lee Friday
And if you support us on coffee... That helps us pay the writers because we're a magazine that actually pays the writers upon publication instead of doing that ethereal like...
01:44:43.32
Wednesday Lee Friday
Well, on the off chance that I make some money, I'll definitely send you some. Yeah, yeah, that's it. No, we we pay upon publication. And the way that we do that is through the support of listeners and readers and people who like what we do.
01:44:57.40
Wednesday Lee Friday
So please, listeners, do find us on Ko-Fi. That's ko-fi. ah we are Where we are sometimes hilarious horror because the best way to support the show is to support the magazine.
01:45:08.75
Wednesday Lee Friday
And we will see everybody next week.
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