Mentally Oddcast Transcript: Adam Millard
00:00:00.87
wednesdayleefriday
Hi friends, you are listening to the Mentally Oddcast brought to you by sometimes hilarious horror. My name is Wednesday Lee Friday and we have with us today Adam Millard. ah He is the author of, author of, god damn it. um Today, we have with us Adam Millard, and he is the author of 29 novels, damn, 13 novellas and more than 200 short stories.
00:00:16.77
Adam Millard
Hm.
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wednesdayleefriday
God, leave some prose for the rest of us. um and so So he's all over the place, collections, magazines, anthologies, um largely known for post-apocalyptic and comedy horror fiction. Adam also writes fantasy horror for children, and bizarro fiction for several publishers uh his work has been translated uh into my goodness german russian spanish wow wow and he lives in the uk which you'll tell because he has one of those uh sweet uk accents um and he's got a wife and some cats which uh i mean you're not really a cat guy though are you i was of the impression that you were not a cat guy so we'll have to get into that too
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Adam Millard
oh no no they yeah we'll talk about that no
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wednesdayleefriday
So welcome. Thanks so much for being here.
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Adam Millard
thank you it's my pleasure it's uh it's uh good to talk to you finally
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wednesdayleefriday
Right, right. We've been online friends forever.
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Adam Millard
I know. Yeah, we've been been in contact, no but this is the first time we've actually got to actually share. a I was going to say an intellectual conversation then, but we'll see. We'll see how it goes.
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wednesdayleefriday
Well, yeah, we'll we'll see.
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Adam Millard
Oh.
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wednesdayleefriday
My goodness, are you on a drag strip? That's insane.
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Adam Millard
That's just typical, isn't it, that makes you start racing.
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wednesdayleefriday
ah Yeah, well, I'm a poor person, so I live by the highway too, I get it.
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Adam Millard
I can't afford one of these fancy soundproof studios. Apparently, I work at Le Mans.
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wednesdayleefriday
Okay.
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Adam Millard
So that's nice. um
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wednesdayleefriday
Nice.
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wednesdayleefriday
All right. So our first question is always to ask for the story of the first horror movie you ever saw. And I'll bet this is going to be good. So lay it on me.
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Adam Millard
oh yeah Well, I mean I was very young when I got into horror and I mean like by the time I was 11 my mum was actually giving me the Scanner's box set for my birthday.
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wednesdayleefriday
and Nice. it's
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Adam Millard
Yeah, she did really so but I mean it was I think I would have been seven. um When I ah started watching um what I like to call gateway horror you know poltergeist gremlins maybe the Lost Boys that kind of thing.
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wednesdayleefriday
Uh-huh.
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wednesdayleefriday
Okay, yep, yep.
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Adam Millard
um So so i was I was quite young, but I mean, real horror, I suppose, was the the original Evil Dead. um I was ah used to live in a block of flats, blocker flats um only a small one, not a high rise. And the woman in the across the hall, she had a toddler, and the woman was, well, you know, She was still a bit of a party animal, so she liked to go out. to And so as a, I'd say about a and a nine-year-old maybe, um I was trusted to babysit a toddler at nine.
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Adam Millard
um
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wednesdayleefriday
Wow.
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Adam Millard
But it was only across the hall, so my mum was like, yeah, if there's any problems, he'll come and tell me and whatever. So I used to do that um i like once a month, maybe. But the woman that I babysat for, um she had quite a collection of classic horror videos, VHS tapes.
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wednesdayleefriday
OK.
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Adam Millard
and The Evil Dead was the first one. I remember I watched it the first night while while she was out. The kid was in bed, whatever. um And was just me, sat there on my arm, just laughing my head off to the original Evil Dead. um I was terrified by it. um But also, I was like, this is just amazing.
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wednesdayleefriday
Wow.
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Adam Millard
Why do I not know about this? why don't you know So over the months I worked my way through the collection that she had. So it's pretty much down to her that I got into into horror in the first place. I dread to think what would have happened if if all she had was period dramas. um
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wednesdayleefriday
yeah
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Adam Millard
on the shelves but uh but yeah she had some classics like um sorority babes at the slime ball bowler armor uh yeah classic like classic b movies um i think that's when i saw
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wednesdayleefriday
Oh, wow.
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wednesdayleefriday
Nice. Well, you know, the VHS slasher was king in the 80s, for goodness sake.
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Adam Millard
Yeah, exactly. So, and so that started and it was like a time of ultra violence. My childhood, not like, you know, and not my fault. I mean, like, I mean, yeah films and TV.
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wednesdayleefriday
in terms of viewing. Yeah, absolutely.
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Adam Millard
Robocop. I mean, it was RoboCop and Terminator. And and um obviously we had video stores then, you're running from the shops, like the corner shops and that ah used to be up to go in and just pick a few.
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wednesdayleefriday
Right.
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Adam Millard
And so I always used to pick the most violent ones, like yeah anything that looked like like class of 1988 or whatever it was. and anything with Cynthia Rothrock, you know, it is like if it looked like it was going to and it had 18 on it, I'd be like, yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
so
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Adam Millard
And I had a pretty easy upbringing when it came to censorship. So that was...
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wednesdayleefriday
Now, was it more difficult in your part of the world to get those kind of films, like in stores? Because I'm aware, like like I used to watch the young ones, and I know they talk about the video nasty, that that that title applies to like sex movies, but also violent movies, that they were kind of put into the same category.
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Adam Millard
No.
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Adam Millard
Yeah, I mean,
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Adam Millard
Yeah, Mary Whitehouse tried to do it. Well, she did do it successfully. Mary Whitehouse is renowned for ah sticking her all in, I'd like to say, um and ah pretty much getting anything with too much blood or band. I think it was things like yeah the original Evil Dead, Cannibal Holocaust, obviously. and
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wednesdayleefriday
Well, I mean, honestly, Cannibal Holocaust is a bit of an exception because there was some real killing in that.
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Adam Millard
dan like
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wednesdayleefriday
Not the people, but like, you know.
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Adam Millard
I didn't watch that until I was 12. So it was like, that was one second.
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wednesdayleefriday
Wow. Well, I mean, yeah, I think 12 is about when I discovered ah Faces of Death, which at the time everyone thought was, well, I don't know if everyone thought it, but it was advertised as being 100% real.
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Adam Millard
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
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Adam Millard
Genuine.
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wednesdayleefriday
And even at 12, I was like, wait a minute, that's two cameras.
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Adam Millard
Yeah. No, no, but when you get when you're a child, it looks, you know, it and and like the the whole hype around the, you know, the the back of it, like, you know, like, oh, yeah, it is.
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wednesdayleefriday
Oh, yeah.
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Adam Millard
I remember having a DVD called Executions, which of it, which was a tape as well.
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wednesdayleefriday
Oh.
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Adam Millard
ah And it was just like, that's what it was. It was just an hour and a half of people being beheaded and shot in the face. at And that was real.
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wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, we we actually had those here. They were released as Faces of Death sequels, because here there are like six Faces of Death movies that were released as such.
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Adam Millard
Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
And the further you get into the series, um the more it's it's just, you know, but like news footage of violence. There's ah the Budson shooting.
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Adam Millard
Yeah,
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wednesdayleefriday
I don't know if you know, it's a famous ah suicide that happened on camera, like a lot of that sort of stuff.
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Adam Millard
yeah yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
And yeah, that I mean, I don't even know how to feel about that because I'm uncomfortable with the idea of someone casually putting that on and watching it for enjoyment.
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Adam Millard
yeah i would mother then Yeah, I think it was more for, you know, just to see what it was.
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wednesdayleefriday
I'm but i'm concerned about the person that it is, but it... Oh,
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Adam Millard
and
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wednesdayleefriday
oh I get it.
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Adam Millard
site yeah
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wednesdayleefriday
I've i've watched them. i've I've certainly watched all of the Faces of Death movies one time through just to see.
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Adam Millard
But with especially when you when you when you were that young as well, and like you know it's like I used to lend tapes to them. I had ah one friend at school that was into pretty much the same as me, and we used to swap tapes backwards and forwards.
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wednesdayleefriday
Mmhmm.
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Adam Millard
um And he'd say, have you seen this one? He'd say, I don't know, the Boneyard and all these classics. I'd say, have you seen The Gate? And he'd be like, yeah, yeah, it swaps off. So we'd swap them like overnight and watch them. and then Um, but occasionally one of these, uh, this is real. This really happened. You've got to watch this. This is, uh, just people getting beheaded and I'm like, Oh, I've got to watch that.
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wednesdayleefriday
Well, in a way, it seems like that kind of thing was almost easier to get then because on the internet, sometimes there is real violence and it shows up and then it it goes away. like Every once in a while, something will stay up.
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Adam Millard
Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
I don't know if you saw the um the janitor at the Singapore Zoo that went into the white tiger cage and did not come out because that footage was up forever.
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Adam Millard
yeah ah no Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
like For years, people were showing that footage.
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Adam Millard
I yeah. I'm not gonna say that I do hunt these things down when I catch wind of them, but I try to see them once.
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wednesdayleefriday
Yep.
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wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, I mean, how, I'm just, I guess it's ghoulish, but I can't help being fascinated by, like, I mean, the whole thing, like, why would you walk into the tiger cage?
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Adam Millard
It's curiosity. often
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wednesdayleefriday
Why would you think you were gonna be okay?
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Adam Millard
Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
Why, I mean, how, ah you know, I want more information. And if unfortunately, that's just not available.
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Adam Millard
Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
But I mean, like Tim Treadwell, you know, Like, I've never gone looking for that audio footage. And I'm sure it's out there. I'm sure that, you know, somebody could get to it if they wanted to. But that's the sort of thing that, I mean, you can't unhear that. Once you hear that, that's going to be in your head forever.
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Adam Millard
No.
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Adam Millard
That's it. I mean, ah occasionally you'll you'll see something and be like, yeah, no, I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have seen that. I shouldn't have watched that.
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wednesdayleefriday
Yep. yeah Yep.
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Adam Millard
That will probably haunt me at some point.
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wednesdayleefriday
Yep.
00:10:51.83
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, I mean, I've been haunted by like nature shows just seeing things happen to animals that are, I mean, you know, things things you can't unsee. And in a way, it's almost more upsetting than people because, you know, when you're talking about adults, a lot of adults, ah you know, they they get up to shenanigans and then shenanigans find them.
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Adam Millard
Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
Whereas, I don't know, animals not as shenanigans prone, I think.
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Adam Millard
yeah Yeah.
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wednesdayleefriday
Um, um, so, so getting into, uh, the, the topic, um, I know that, uh, and I, and I followed you online during some of this, you you've struggled with, uh, overuse of alcohol. Um, you have some, some mental health stuff going on. Like what, what would you like to share about that?
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Adam Millard
Oh, I'm open about all of it now. It's taken me this long to actually sort of get to a place where I'm i'm quite happy with discussing and talking about it. But yeah, I was a pretty hard alcoholic at one point for many years. um And I mean like to and two liters of whisky a day.
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wednesdayleefriday
Wow.
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Adam Millard
um yeah and or if i if i was uh out and i'd go out all day long i'd drink probably 30 35 points um so yeah that was something that uh obviously i had to get help with before i
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wednesdayleefriday
I mean, I assume that drinking that much is a coping mechanism. What were you what were you coping with?
00:12:37.19
Adam Millard
yeah It definitely was um and because of my, my and i have I have borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, so um not a good combination. So yeah, my way of dealing with those feelings constantly was to to basically shut them down with alcohol, um which obviously as she as you probably are aware, it just exacerbates things in the long run.
00:13:10.09
wednesdayleefriday
Typically, yeah, yeah
00:13:11.93
Adam Millard
um But yes, it's something that I'm doing better with. m But yeah, there was there was a time, I mean, when um i mean i i went into rehab um about i think it was about nearly four years now four years ago i did a detox in a rehab um center uh that went well came out um still drinking um but nowhere near as much i haven't touched spirits since and obviously i'm off it completely now um so yeah it's just the alcohol
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Adam Millard
and the mental side of it combined to make a very nasty concoction
00:14:00.08
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah.
00:14:01.76
Adam Millard
that has cost me a lot really, yeah I'm not gonna lie, um it's it's it cost me my marriage um Well, part of the reason.
00:14:15.15
wednesdayleefriday
Oh.
00:14:16.56
Adam Millard
um It's made it difficult to have contact with my children. um as it It does affect you know everything. um it's Obviously it's affected me physically as well. ah yeah the yeah The combination of the alcohol, the amount of alcohol I've drunk for that many years.
00:14:36.60
wednesdayleefriday
Mm hmm.
00:14:45.34
Adam Millard
for that number of years and the medication that I've been taking since I was 19. So 25 years of hardcore um antidepressants,
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wednesdayleefriday
Oh wow.
00:15:01.49
Adam Millard
ah which have made my stomach lining about as thick as a Durex condom, I'd say. They're useless. Have you ever had a heppies?
00:15:11.87
wednesdayleefriday
ah So I have not.
00:15:12.72
Adam Millard
I think that's what my stomach's like.
00:15:18.20
wednesdayleefriday
No, I think, I think if I was in a place that tried to serve me, Haggis, I would ask for a Scotch egg because I know they come from the same part of the world.
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Adam Millard
and so obviously
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Adam Millard
e mean Maybe a bit wary of those scotch eggs.
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wednesdayleefriday
Really?
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Adam Millard
I'd rather have a haggis. At least you know it's just some
00:15:39.03
wednesdayleefriday
Well, not having had either one, I should probably defer to your judgment on that. So.
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Adam Millard
It's just that a haggis is basically the contents of a Scotsman's hoover bag.
00:15:52.91
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, it's like oats or something, right?
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Adam Millard
But it's not the gravy.
00:15:56.20
Adam Millard
I'm going to get into draw for that.
00:15:56.42
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah.
00:15:59.67
wednesdayleefriday
So you um you were aware of your mental illness while you were drinking and you were medicated for it. Is that am I understanding that right?
00:16:09.10
Adam Millard
Yeah, and ah first the first three years I think it was, see I was in the army and I was medically discharged. um and when i came out that's when i really started getting the symptoms of depression um but then it grew into something a lot more um i was having mean more manic episodes and then i started to think and like this is
00:16:41.09
Adam Millard
This isn't just depression because I'm good for four weeks and then I want to kill myself for the next four weeks. um And I thought that's that's not that's not right. um But the alcohol, yeah, that sir ah didn't help things. I think the longest I gave up drinking for um would have been seven years between between
00:17:12.51
Adam Millard
two thousand nineteen and now sorry twoir nineteen nineteen nine
00:17:18.80
wednesdayleefriday
Wow.
00:17:19.00
Adam Millard
and now um I had a few years off when my when my first when my son was born, um didn't touch a drop, but I was still obviously being bombarded with all this sir sadness and depression, but now I didn't have anything to deal with it, other than Well, you know, the the usual, the usual talking.
00:17:44.93
wednesdayleefriday
Yep. Yep. Well, because I mean, medication is helpful to a lot of people, but it's not a problem solver per se. And just because you have medication doesn't mean that it's the right medication. You know, bipolar in particular is very difficult to medicate. Like the first time I was diagnosed, they told me I had depression and they gave me antidepressants, which is one of the worst things you can do for someone with bipolar disorder. Because as you know, depression, it keeps you from getting things done.
00:18:19.67
wednesdayleefriday
You know, you you'd spend a lot of time in bed. you're you know ah Everything is on hold.
00:18:23.75
Adam Millard
There.
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wednesdayleefriday
everything is is ever It just doesn't seem like anything is worth the effort.
00:18:29.91
Adam Millard
No.
00:18:30.08
wednesdayleefriday
But mania, ah man, that shit will blow your life apart because mania is, you know what, boss? Here's what I've always hated about you. I'm going to, you know, I'm going to spend a bunch of money and get some stuff and do this thing. And it's going to make me rich and successful. And you know what? I'm, I mean, and and you just, it, it really, uh, yeah, I mean, I, I would think you do know, um, that,
00:18:48.83
Adam Millard
I know.
00:18:54.24
Adam Millard
this is This is what my but my my least proud moment of mania, shall I say, was I got married, my first marriage in 2010. Yeah. um And then ah about two days later, while she was at work, I just left the house, jumped on a plane and went to Ibiza on my own.
00:19:23.67
wednesdayleefriday
What? Wow.
00:19:26.36
Adam Millard
yep she tried to um she actually tried to have me arrested at the airport like i said he's he's not in the right frame of mind he's having one of his things um can you stop him and uh they couldn't no they couldn't because they said he looks all right to us we can't stop him he hasn't done anything so so i went to ip i had a honeymoon on my own
00:19:28.40
wednesdayleefriday
Man. That, uh...
00:19:37.78
wednesdayleefriday
Oh, jeez. Did they? Did they stop you?
00:19:51.50
Adam Millard
but But the reason why I went was to actually kill myself. um So that sort of makes it less funny. um But at the time, that's what my in my head was to to go there and not come back. So.
00:20:09.01
wednesdayleefriday
Oh Jesus, you know what? I just realized that I gave you a copy of my last short story collection, and there's a story in there where that happens, where someone goes, oh shit, man.
00:20:20.77
Adam Millard
Yeah, I know.
00:20:24.33
wednesdayleefriday
i
00:20:24.41
Adam Millard
Right, nothing triggers me.
00:20:26.76
wednesdayleefriday
I'm having some feelings about that.
00:20:28.43
Adam Millard
Nah, nah.
00:20:28.52
wednesdayleefriday
Well, the thing is, I am in favor of trigger warnings in the abstract, but I rarely use them just because, ah first of all, I'm not that famous, so most of the people that read my books are people that know me from social media, so they already know I'm a nutbag. But, yeah, it just, ah I'm also not, not easily um triggered in terms of, you know, PTSD, like the actual definition of triggered, because people misuse that word all the time.
00:20:54.26
Adam Millard
No.
00:20:56.86
Adam Millard
Yeah, I can be affected, I can be affected by something, you know, emotionally or, you know, um but not doesn't really, it just makes me maybe a little bit upset or but I'm not gonna say it triggers me and doesn't so send me over the over the edge completely.
00:20:57.07
wednesdayleefriday
You know, just, just they think it means like, upset.
00:21:19.51
Adam Millard
I can, I cry at the softest of things nowadays.
00:21:24.44
wednesdayleefriday
yeah I really do too.
00:21:25.24
Adam Millard
I really do.
00:21:26.71
wednesdayleefriday
it's yeah I hear you.
00:21:26.99
Adam Millard
if anybody, if I see.
00:21:28.55
wednesdayleefriday
i'm a cra like i Every other Doctor Who episode probably is going to make me cry for some reason because it's so emotional.
00:21:35.73
Adam Millard
But if I see, if I see, you know those videos where they have like ah a child in ah in a doctor's room and and they put the glasses on them and they can suddenly see for the first time or something, or they put like a pair of a hearing aid on and the and the child just sort of like looks around like in his mom, here's his mom's calling him a name, you know, for the first time.
00:21:36.08
wednesdayleefriday
like
00:21:56.14
Adam Millard
And I'm like, that, that makes me cry. Like seriously, I'm like, Oh God, they're really good.
00:22:02.11
wednesdayleefriday
But see, that's the thing. When you're not numbing yourself anymore, you get to feel all sorts of things and some of them suck and some of them are really beautiful.
00:22:06.63
Adam Millard
yeah but that's that's the thing it's it's a It's a good thing to feel emotions, but with with untreated borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder, um those things can really twist you up.
00:22:18.33
wednesdayleefriday
Yep.
00:22:35.60
Adam Millard
You know what I mean?
00:22:35.88
wednesdayleefriday
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:22:37.44
Adam Millard
It's completely different. The feelings then, that's when it becomes a problem. Yeah, but i don when I've when I've been under a sort of when I've been having um a manic. So, yeah, I've done crazy things and, you know, I've woken up in police. So I've never I haven't got a criminal record or anything, really, and small, little things, you know, little things.
00:23:03.75
wednesdayleefriday
Oh, lucky you.
00:23:07.09
Adam Millard
um And there's sort of I know,
00:23:17.06
Adam Millard
I even, even like when I was under the influence of alcohol or sort of, um, I still, I was still polite all the time to the police. I think that makes a difference. But, um, yeah, no, I'm no saint, but I'm, you know, I'm, I'm happy with my life now and and I'm happy that i've I've managed to get to a place where it's under control and Uh, you know, sorry.
00:23:50.62
wednesdayleefriday
Well, I would ask, um, well, you, you mentioned that you do still drink sometimes, but that your use is under control.
00:23:52.22
Adam Millard
sorry
00:23:58.74
Adam Millard
No, um I don't drink it anymore.
00:23:58.89
wednesdayleefriday
Um, not at all.
00:24:00.94
Adam Millard
um ah did when I came out of rehab, I did for a little bit. um Because obviously, the rehab worked.
00:24:05.82
wednesdayleefriday
I see.
00:24:09.34
Adam Millard
But the amount that I'd been drinking before I went into rehab still meant that I had to reduce gently. um Otherwise, because I was having seizures as a result of coming off the alcohol um too too quickly.
00:24:15.54
wednesdayleefriday
Uh-huh. Yep. Yep.
00:24:23.04
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, people don't realize how dangerous it is if you have a physical addiction to alcohol.
00:24:26.79
Adam Millard
No.
00:24:27.52
wednesdayleefriday
It's is it's as but dangerous physically as coming down off of heroin.
00:24:31.98
Adam Millard
That's it. I mean, I went to the um ah be this was around that time um when I was going into rehab. I think it was just before um I went to the supermarket on the morning. I was it just about to go and get enough alcohol to get through that day and and just collapsed, woke up in hospital. um i would i'd had a massive seizure in there just uh bleed on my brain uh sub sub sub dermal hematoma sub duro hematoma that's it uh on the brain yeah because of uh the way i'd uh gone down apparently but yeah it's uh very dangerous to just quit
00:25:10.53
wednesdayleefriday
Oh no.
00:25:24.93
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah. Um, no, I would like to ask actually, um, At least where I am in the world, I'm in America obviously, but um it is often more stigmatized for men to get help with their mental health. um did Did you find that? that that they i mean Were people judgy with you when you got i when you got treatment for mental health?
00:25:50.81
Adam Millard
Um, I wouldn't say, um, no, the professional, like the professionals here are, ah you know, they'll treat everybody the same, but, um, I think the stigma is still that you should be able to cope being a man. I think that's, you know, that's still a problem. Um, I mean, I wouldn't say I've got a great, um, pool of, uh, friends in this country. Um, I've probably got about, I could count them on one hand, basically. um Close friends. um But they wouldn't understand, you know, about ah bipolar disorder or or anything like that. They'd be like, it's just feeling a bit down and empty.
00:26:41.54
Adam Millard
You know, and that's, that's just the way, that's the way is.
00:26:42.14
wednesdayleefriday
ah
00:26:44.58
Adam Millard
um I don't think that's going to change anytime soon, but, but think now then I was yeah think, things seem to be moving in the right direction and with our new government installed that say,
00:26:49.39
wednesdayleefriday
Well, I don't know, man, millennials.
00:27:00.94
Adam Millard
they're going to focus on bringing in mental health level with physical health in the treatment and the funds. So, you know, hopefully I'm i'm still waiting um to be fair. I've been waiting for it six months now, six months um for um a new therapist. um And that could take up to two or three years.
00:27:23.93
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah.
00:27:28.70
Adam Millard
of waiting before the therapy even starts.
00:27:32.52
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, we've got the same kind of wait times here, especially since COVID.
00:27:32.96
Adam Millard
So, yeah.
00:27:36.79
wednesdayleefriday
Um, and that's like, if you have somebody that takes your insurance, cause here, you know, the healthcare is terrible, actually. was just complaining because I got a medical bill for $450 and that was my copay for my annual physical and blood work.
00:27:44.10
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:27:54.09
wednesdayleefriday
So it's required. I have to get it or they won't prescribe my medications without which I would you know die. But yeah, I mean, that's, you know, that they they say, oh, well, why don't you come in more often?
00:28:01.18
Adam Millard
Yeah. and yeah
00:28:05.38
wednesdayleefriday
Why don't you get this test or that test? And because it's outlandishly expensive. So unless I'm in pain, well, that's how I ended up in the hospital in 2022, because I knew that there were things that were wrong with me.
00:28:15.82
Adam Millard
Okay.
00:28:19.48
wednesdayleefriday
But honestly, I was depressed and I figured I was just dying and that there was no reason to spend the money. But When you have a husband, man yeah I mean, you you know, age, he's got a real bug up his ass about me staying alive. So,
00:28:34.20
Adam Millard
It's a nightmare. It's a nightmare having a ah you know a loving spouse.
00:28:35.77
wednesdayleefriday
ah right?
00:28:39.25
Adam Millard
And ah I'm coming to terms with my own, to be fair. I mean, she she keeps trying she keeps helping, you know trying to you know get me to go to appointments and things. And it's like...
00:28:50.97
wednesdayleefriday
Well, and it's that's the thing is that when you are living with someone who loves you and wants the best for you, it's much harder to treat yourself like garbage.
00:29:00.92
Adam Millard
Yeah, exactly.
00:29:02.13
wednesdayleefriday
You know, cause then you have to justify it. Like my husband will say, why are you doing this? Why haven't you slept? Why haven't you eaten today? What are you doing?
00:29:10.66
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:29:11.63
wednesdayleefriday
And you know, he demands explanations for these things. And if I don't have them, I i really have no choice but to straighten up and fly. Right. Cause I didn't take a lot of wedding vows, but I did tell him that I would try my best to be the spouse that he deserves.
00:29:27.83
Adam Millard
yeah
00:29:27.93
wednesdayleefriday
And. i I'm not sure that I'm living up to my end of that bargain, to be honest with you.
00:29:32.57
Adam Millard
I'm sure you are.
00:29:33.80
wednesdayleefriday
yeah I hope so.
00:29:34.57
Adam Millard
ah
00:29:35.64
wednesdayleefriday
He says it, but you know hes he's into me, so he's going to say whatever. um
00:29:40.47
Adam Millard
strength
00:29:42.24
wednesdayleefriday
How much would you say your work is influenced by your mental health?
00:29:50.43
Adam Millard
Oh, ham it definitely is. um If you look at pattern of my writing.
00:30:01.43
Adam Millard
It's becoming even more erratic to be fair. No, i because I'm right, I fluctuate between writing the, you know, the serious, um you know, I can write a serious, quiet horror novel, you know, ah folk horror, you know, with zero jokes in it.
00:30:15.22
wednesdayleefriday
Mm-hmm. Yep.
00:30:19.98
Adam Millard
And then I'll go to writing a parody or a satire of something stupid and And that sort of describes my um what I'm feeling at the time of of writing. um these last couple of months have been great i've managed to you know finish one book started another so um yeah no it's been it's been great these last um six months i'd say uh so but i'm expecting that to change because there's always that anticipating that fall um but at least you know at least you got it good my wife actually sees it coming before i do i mean she'll say
00:30:45.67
wednesdayleefriday
Wow, that's great.
00:31:01.80
wednesdayleefriday
Oh yeah.
00:31:09.27
Adam Millard
yeah Yeah, you're not feeling right today and I'll just go nah and joke out. I didn't think so. Just just like sort of pre-empting my mood. and
00:31:20.15
wednesdayleefriday
Well, and it's really important to have that kind of support structure and that kind of like, I don't want to call your wife a sounding board, but someone who is there and like notices what you're going through and provides like a, uh, you know, uh, yeah, she sounds amazing.
00:31:23.39
Adam Millard
Yeah. Nah. She notices before I do it. It's fantastic.
00:31:36.55
wednesdayleefriday
I mean, and you know, I, I've noticed like how much happier you have been since you guys have been together.
00:31:37.06
Adam Millard
but smith
00:31:41.24
Adam Millard
oh certainly yeah yeah now she's brilliant um i've um i've actually i wouldn't be writing again now if it wasn't for her to be fair um so that's a that's a great thing to have um that's all coming back and
00:31:42.56
wednesdayleefriday
So it's been dope for like people on the outside watching your life. Like, yeah, check that out.
00:32:00.00
wednesdayleefriday
Wow, that's huge.
00:32:06.46
Adam Millard
I'm looking forward to the future in that again, which is something I didn't think I'd i'd have it you know three three or four years ago when it got really bad.
00:32:15.11
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, I know that feeling.
00:32:17.78
Adam Millard
um
00:32:18.44
wednesdayleefriday
Definitely.
00:32:19.08
Adam Millard
You just don't see a way, do yeah the you? know sir
00:32:26.00
wednesdayleefriday
So if your work is reflective of your mood and your mental state, what happens when you look back on old work? Do you look back on it fondly or with, I mean, cause you know, there are writers that hate their own books because of where they were at in life when they wrote them.
00:32:41.73
Adam Millard
Oh yeah.
00:32:42.07
wednesdayleefriday
Like Joe Hill hates his novel horns, which I love. I love that book.
00:32:45.99
Adam Millard
I dont ah thought it was pretty good. Yeah.
00:32:48.82
wednesdayleefriday
Right? But it's also like you could see where it is very angry.
00:32:51.48
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:32:53.22
wednesdayleefriday
It's an angry book. And it's a really sarcastic book. It's a book that has run right out of fucks. So I mean, do do you find what do you what do you experience when you look back on your old work?
00:33:00.30
Adam Millard
yeah
00:33:05.96
Adam Millard
yeah i think you you do you can see when you see the nihilism i think that's probably the best word the nihilism and you know then the misanthropy that you're feeling at the time when you wrote it you it's just it's apparent it's quite it's you can you can and i remember like when i wrote i think when i finished the october boys
00:33:13.41
wednesdayleefriday
Mm hmm.
00:33:32.78
Adam Millard
um I was feeling pretty bad during that one and that was the last book I wrote for a couple of years. um So I sort of had yeah two two, three years break of not writing anything at all. um That was partly as well to get myself back, you know, up and running.
00:33:58.63
wednesdayleefriday
Uh huh.
00:33:59.34
Adam Millard
Because at that time I was actually homeless as well. I was i was on the streets for a bit. um
00:34:07.47
wednesdayleefriday
How long were you homeless?
00:34:09.62
Adam Millard
and That time, just a couple of weeks I think, a friend, a bartender at the bar that I worked at, so that I drank at. um that I frequented for 14 hours a day. um she and She just basically said, you know, actually, I'm not having your own race. And so I moved in with her. and And then Covid happened.
00:34:42.87
Adam Millard
And so I spent all of the first Covid um with with her and her family.
00:34:43.42
wednesdayleefriday
Right.
00:34:50.53
wednesdayleefriday
Oh, wow.
00:34:51.42
Adam Millard
I know it was ah it was a strange time, but it was it was it was quite nice. it was When I say a family, it it was just a young son, um he said said was 17 at the time. So we we got on like a house on fire, me and him, we just played video games all day and we got through COVID.
00:35:12.71
wednesdayleefriday
so where Where you were in the world with COVID, were people cool about it?
00:35:12.73
Adam Millard
ah to yeah
00:35:17.97
wednesdayleefriday
Were they careful? Did people mask up without complaint? or Because i mean here, shit got crazy during COVID.
00:35:24.34
Adam Millard
It was 50-50 million.
00:35:24.58
wednesdayleefriday
People were fist fighting each other over toilet paper and you know making scenes in places over masks. i mean ah A security guard was murdered because he told someone to put a mask on.
00:35:31.81
Adam Millard
Yeah. wait we had We had some of that.
00:35:34.85
wednesdayleefriday
and
00:35:39.27
Adam Millard
A lot of people were more angry at what our government were actually doing while we were all making an effort um because they were all having parties um secretly.
00:35:52.69
wednesdayleefriday
Wow.
00:35:52.96
Adam Millard
which which then became a major talking point.
00:35:57.14
wednesdayleefriday
I would think so, yeah.
00:35:57.25
Adam Millard
and it's But yeah, no, it was was's just the whole thing. It dragged on a bit, didn't it, to be fair, as far as as far as things go.
00:36:08.61
wednesdayleefriday
Well, I mean, there's still new strains.
00:36:09.56
Adam Millard
A few years.
00:36:10.69
wednesdayleefriday
People are still getting it, you know, like my.
00:36:13.13
Adam Millard
I know, I think one keep watching, I'm checking, them I think it and however it's, I don't know whether it's, yeah, I won't say any names, but I keep every, all these conventions on your side of the pond and then there's always a bit of a peak after a convention and from people, but people have just stopped testing over here, so we wouldn't know.
00:36:26.14
wednesdayleefriday
Mm hmm.
00:36:32.96
wednesdayleefriday
Yep.
00:36:38.45
Adam Millard
We wouldn't know if we are. I've probably got it now, to be fair.
00:36:44.33
Adam Millard
The way they yeah they stop doing tests and giving tests away. and So we...
00:36:50.81
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, I mean, we we have tests here because they sent out tests for everybody. But unless I'm feeling bad, actually, um I had a last year a family member died and I didn't have any tests.
00:36:55.34
Adam Millard
Oh.
00:37:03.00
wednesdayleefriday
And by the time I got a test, the funeral had already happened. So I had to miss it because I had been sick and I wasn't sure whether or not I had COVID again or not, because there's so many strains now.
00:37:12.76
Adam Millard
hmm yeah keep it i keep hearing of all these new strains coming in and i'm just like this is just gonna go on
00:37:15.87
wednesdayleefriday
But, uh,
00:37:24.65
Adam Millard
and on I mean, i did I did all the right things during COVID.
00:37:24.92
wednesdayleefriday
Well, it wouldn't.
00:37:28.42
Adam Millard
I wore the mask, I stayed in, I you know i went to the shop for 10 minutes a day exercise. you know I did everything that they said, but I still caught it. I still caught it. Was it once or twice? I can't remember now. um
00:37:45.97
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, i i had well my husband you know he has a front-facing service job and they were not careful.
00:37:46.36
Adam Millard
and
00:37:51.99
wednesdayleefriday
and he you know he He worked for [redacted], which is not... I'll probably cut that out. um but But yeah, he he had to keep going into work. He was considered ah an essential employee, whereas i I would not agree with that. I would think that any for-profit business that has a governmental counterpart, like mailing, shipping, that sort of thing,
00:38:12.37
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:38:14.34
wednesdayleefriday
not Not an essential service.
00:38:14.84
Adam Millard
Nah, it's not.
00:38:16.57
wednesdayleefriday
But, you know, all the fast food places stayed open, so I guess in America, essential is a not easily definable word.
00:38:26.90
Adam Millard
No.
00:38:27.61
wednesdayleefriday
Because, you know, we're we're basically an oligarchy now anyway, so money rules everything.
00:38:28.20
Adam Millard
yeah
00:38:34.65
Adam Millard
Oh dear.
00:38:36.49
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, it's it's rough.
00:38:37.67
Adam Millard
I know, I know.
00:38:39.88
wednesdayleefriday
but
00:38:43.10
Adam Millard
There's a little bit of a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's weather, you know. we'll say I'm just watching it from afar and thinking.
00:38:52.37
wednesdayleefriday
It, it seems like we're just going to have to live with COVID for a while and get a shot annually, like a flu shot.
00:38:54.72
Adam Millard
okay
00:38:58.90
wednesdayleefriday
And that'll just, you know, well, I'll just hope for the best like we've been doing.
00:39:03.61
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:39:04.38
wednesdayleefriday
What I find frustrating about it though, is that when you talk to people about precautions, a lot of people will say, well, it really is only killing people who are already sick. as if people who were already sick are disposable. And as someone who's been sick for some time, most of my life I've had various things wrong with me, ah which is true of a lot of people I know.
00:39:19.91
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:39:22.67
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:39:31.16
wednesdayleefriday
And to just dismissively say, well, if you're not in tip-top health, maybe you don't need to keep living.
00:39:36.78
Adam Millard
Yeah, that's that's completely right.
00:39:36.85
wednesdayleefriday
Well, let' let's not.
00:39:38.90
Adam Millard
I mean, ah you know, I've had i had pneumonia twice at the start of this year that could have combined with Covid that could have finished me off and then they just said, oh, well, you know, he was sick anyway. That's that's ridiculous.
00:39:51.90
wednesdayleefriday
Yep, yep. Thanks. Well, I had a cousin who died from COVID and he was not yet 40. He did have some stuff going on, but he also had a family who loved him. so you know it's and it It really like caused a big to-do in my family because
00:40:05.42
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:40:12.16
wednesdayleefriday
We have MAGA people in my family, and then we have like you know normal people. so
00:40:17.06
Adam Millard
Right.
00:40:18.95
wednesdayleefriday
And then when a couple of people get COVID and someone dies, it creates this whole, like i don't I mean, you know what's going on out there.
00:40:25.75
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:40:27.20
wednesdayleefriday
It gets pretty ugly, and people say very ugly things to each other.
00:40:29.16
Adam Millard
Mmm.
00:40:31.63
wednesdayleefriday
You know, I mean, I was called a Libtard by someone who once told me they were so proud of me for like winning the science prize.
00:40:32.69
Adam Millard
and
00:40:39.80
wednesdayleefriday
And now, you know, they're saying things like, oh, you idiot, how could you believe in vaccines?
00:40:42.00
Adam Millard
And then, yeah.
00:40:45.89
wednesdayleefriday
Like, well, what?
00:40:49.11
Adam Millard
That's good old politics for you there, playing arching familiar relationships.
00:40:49.71
wednesdayleefriday
Um.
00:40:52.52
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah. ye I will be very glad when my political trilogy is done and I don't have to think about it or that particular person anymore because god damn did I step in it with that.
00:41:08.05
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:41:08.30
wednesdayleefriday
um ah so But by the end of the year I'll have book three out and then that'll be it. So that, well, no, I'm going to actually do them all together in one volume. It kind of depends on what happens with the election because I really think that after he loses, MAGA people are not going to take it well.
00:41:27.05
Adam Millard
No, I don't think.
00:41:27.45
wednesdayleefriday
And i I don't know, because it seems like if on some off chance he wins, people are going to protest and he's going to send in the military. And here, that means a bunch of barely 18-year-old kids are going to have to decide whether or not it's a lawful order to fire on civilian protesters. And taking a wild guess, a few of them will think, sure, that seems like a valid order, and then a bunch won't.
00:41:46.85
Adam Millard
Yeah, that's good.
00:41:54.59
wednesdayleefriday
And it's just going to go downhill from there. That is my prediction.
00:41:57.72
Adam Millard
No.
00:41:58.60
wednesdayleefriday
Should he win? Should he lose? A lot of sore losers are going to, I can't even, I don't even know.
00:42:08.31
Adam Millard
Yeah, I'm ah i'm i'm firmly ah in and Kamala Harris's corner, to be fair.
00:42:17.72
wednesdayleefriday
Oh yeah.
00:42:18.39
Adam Millard
um So that's my that's my views. i'm I'm a stupid Englishman, so I have no i have no horse in the race, so to speak, but I know what's good for the world. I don't know what's not good for the world. and
00:42:31.84
wednesdayleefriday
See, if you were an American, you would know what was good for the world. That's what we do here. We tell everyone that we know what's good for the world.
00:42:40.69
Adam Millard
Yes. Our country is bad enough. it's a
00:42:49.89
wednesdayleefriday
Well, I mean, what countries are having a really great time all the time? Sweden.
00:42:55.18
Adam Millard
Finland.
00:42:55.73
wednesdayleefriday
Where else? Yeah. Yeah.
00:42:57.77
Adam Millard
Finland, Sweden.
00:42:57.99
wednesdayleefriday
places where blonde people have to pay their taxes. All those places seem to be doing real well.
00:43:03.74
Adam Millard
And Switzerland. Switzerland is always
00:43:05.22
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, yeah. Switzerland, the land of staying out of it.
00:43:10.48
Adam Millard
I could, if I'd have been living in Switzerland all this time, I'd have i'd probably put myself in one of those capsules by now.
00:43:18.81
wednesdayleefriday
Yep.
00:43:19.81
Adam Millard
Yeah, slowly, the suicide capsule. But thankfully, I don't have access to one of those. I'm pretty sure you can 3D print one now, but no, I'm just saying, i'm I'm sure I saw that they were 3D printable.
00:43:27.20
wednesdayleefriday
Right?
00:43:30.51
wednesdayleefriday
Well, let's not, okay? Well, as as convenient as that might be, I still have to vote that down.
00:43:42.35
Adam Millard
Yeah, no, i'm um' I'm glad I didn't have access because so you know if I'd have been a ghost now, I would have had serious redirects. That's what I'm saying.
00:43:53.06
wednesdayleefriday
I hear that, man, I do. It's funny because you know, every once in a while people decide that marijuana is dangerous. And I bring that up because if marijuana were dangerous, it would be the most popular suicide drug in the world. And I certainly would not be here. If it was possible to smoke an amount that would actually unalive me, I probably would have accomplished that by but well before I hit 30.
00:44:19.48
Adam Millard
there There isn't a, nah. Having just come back from Amsterdam, um i can I can assure you that there is no amount that can physically kill a person. just
00:44:33.14
wednesdayleefriday
um So if we could get off of that actually i'm aware that you write books for kids and i need to hear more about that because that is not in keeping with the you that i know on the internet so how how does that break down.
00:44:50.36
Adam Millard
ah I wrote, I should probably take that out my boy I really I wrote three three children's books that were basically humorous um with with horror involved. um when when my son was born I wanted to sort of write something that I could read to him that might sort of start him off into liking horror and had yeah but it turned out wrong he went into Peppa Pig instead um but yeah so I wrote Peter Crumby Teenage Zombie
00:45:18.59
wednesdayleefriday
Nice, nice.
00:45:31.69
Adam Millard
And then I wrote the sequel, which was Peter Crumby versus the Grandpiers. And then I wrote a book called The Thing Is. But I'm actually thinking of writing more more middle grade, I'd say, humorous horror. I don't know.
00:45:58.97
Adam Millard
This is the, like, um with my with my humorous books, obviously, there's a lot of references and adult references and rude parts and language and puns that children just wouldn't, and so obviously,
00:46:10.04
wednesdayleefriday
Mm hmm. Yep.
00:46:21.75
wednesdayleefriday
See, that's that's really what I wonder, like, where do you find those lines? Like, what is a joke? that Like, how do you determine? Because I'm i'm bad at that. I, ah I usually end up apologizing to kids parents after I tell their kids a story.
00:46:29.92
Adam Millard
i were I don't know. ah I know this is, um it's it's not yeah um taking anything away from people with Tourette's or saying anything negative about Tourette's, but I actually believe that I have a form of it and because, and my my wife says the same, she says, I'll say something, and it'll come out before i've I've got time to stop it from coming out.
00:46:54.89
wednesdayleefriday
Mmhmm.
00:46:55.73
Adam Millard
And she'll say, she calls it your Tourette's, im might I think so, yeah. Because I wouldn't have said it that quickly. ah it It comes out before my brain, so before my mouth can stop it. um So that actually is the same for when I'm writing the humorous stuff. and And as I'm writing, and it goes down on the page, and it'll just flow, and then I'll read it back. And if it makes me laugh, ah that's that's the best feeling in the world. Because then I'm like, oh, man, that's just... that It makes me wonder if i'm if I'm right in the head, to be fair, but...
00:47:42.82
Adam Millard
But I mean, yeah you'll you'll see what I mean because the the book I'm writing at the moment, sometimes when my wife gets up in the morning, I'll treat her, because I get up early, I get up at 7am every morning and then write.
00:47:43.95
wednesdayleefriday
No, I get it.
00:47:52.31
wednesdayleefriday
Ew, sorry.
00:47:56.37
Adam Millard
I start writing by 9am and I finish.
00:47:58.82
wednesdayleefriday
Wow.
00:48:00.74
Adam Millard
That's my schedule every day. So by the time she gets up, I've already written my 2000, 3000 words for the day. And she'll say ah should say, what's such and such character doing now? you know And I'll be like, oh God, I've left him all night within this predicament. And then I feel really bad about it. And, then but I think it was not yesterday, the day before um I actually read a the the extract that I was, ah that I'd written that morning. And I couldn't finish it. We were both just absolutely in tears to the point where I was just like, I can't believe it. that um I said, I have to read that out at every single convention, ah every reading they give me. I've got to read just that part out because
00:48:48.41
Adam Millard
we we We were in stitches and I was like, that's just wrong, got so many levels. And this is not a children's, but this is definitely a very adult book that's going to get me into trouble.
00:48:58.77
wednesdayleefriday
Oh man, I'm excited!
00:48:59.17
Adam Millard
um But I can't tell you about it yet.
00:49:01.33
wednesdayleefriday
yeah
00:49:04.16
Adam Millard
But I can tell you about the one book, but not that one.
00:49:09.94
wednesdayleefriday
Well, so, I guess... Maybe this is difficult to answer, but for people that are not familiar with your work, where is a good place to start? Like, what is your quintessential work?
00:49:23.56
Adam Millard
um okay uh everybody always like starts with the uh the larry series um it's still like to this day i mean it's 10 years old now yeah the first book um and that one is still probably the biggest seller of all my books um so for slasher comedy and with every cliche and trope thrown in just just for the fun of it um the Larry series is probably the the best place to start um for more serious horror and you know no jokes you know because I can write as well um I would say the October boys probably or
00:50:10.84
wednesdayleefriday
Mm-hmm.
00:50:20.96
Adam Millard
um there's ah a novella out called swimming in the sea of trees which is a very sort of serious um that's actually about suicide as well because it's set in the japanese suicide forest but uh that's uh quite uh a ah ah dramatic uh sad uh little story um that's been out for a few years um so yeah now i am
00:50:36.72
wednesdayleefriday
Uh huh.
00:50:49.52
wednesdayleefriday
Okay.
00:50:52.37
Adam Millard
ah fluctuate Like I said, I'm fluctuating now. I'm like a little butterfly.
00:50:58.01
wednesdayleefriday
okay
00:50:58.04
Adam Millard
ah Just horror and comedy.
00:51:01.21
wednesdayleefriday
And do you do you encourage readers to find you on social media? Because not everyone does.
00:51:08.42
Adam Millard
Oh yeah, no, good i'm I'm open to everybody. and I do perform um cavity checks at the border. um
00:51:17.98
wednesdayleefriday
ah
00:51:19.53
Adam Millard
No, I do. I do check because obviously, you know.
00:51:23.39
wednesdayleefriday
You know, I, I definitely like look at accounts to make sure they're real, but there are writers that seriously vet people because I added Ramsey Campbell on Facebook and I forgot about it. He didn't add me back right away. And then a couple of weeks later, I got a private message from him and I thought it was some scam or pretending to be Ramsey Campbell. And I was like, what?
00:51:46.60
Adam Millard
like ah I think I saw that.
00:51:47.63
wednesdayleefriday
That is it. I was like, yeah. Cause I was like, what a dick move.
00:51:50.41
Adam Millard
But he was like, yeah.
00:51:52.43
wednesdayleefriday
yeah
00:51:52.75
Adam Millard
He was like, no, it's me. Yeah.
00:51:54.84
wednesdayleefriday
And yeah, it turned out to be him.
00:51:54.96
Adam Millard
but
00:51:56.56
wednesdayleefriday
I actually got a private message from Ramsey Campbell. So yeah.
00:52:00.08
Adam Millard
yeah No, I do this on Facebook. On Twitter, not so much because people just follow you anyway.
00:52:07.97
wednesdayleefriday
Well, Twitter is just a cesspool anyway, so.
00:52:08.09
Adam Millard
But hey, you love it.
00:52:13.12
wednesdayleefriday
yeah
00:52:13.89
Adam Millard
We're seeing your interactions.
00:52:15.92
wednesdayleefriday
I'm on Twitter for one person, and I don't even like him anymore.
00:52:18.29
Adam Millard
I know.
00:52:19.88
wednesdayleefriday
The yeah the convention was the last straw. because i mean the thing about if Everybody knows I'm talking about Don Jr., so I'm talking about Don Jr., because I'm finishing up my book series about him. But the thing is, I was such a sincere fan of him for so long. that i was i was dug in and i did not want to give up and every stupid terrible thing he did or said i was like no no no still a good guy i swear it you just he's faking this is a real and uh and at the rnc he dressed up his oldest daughter called her sexy and sent her out on stage to say my grandfather is a normal guy like anybody else and
00:53:03.17
wednesdayleefriday
I cannot respect anyone who would feed their own children to the machine like that. that just i Because he knows better.
00:53:09.04
Adam Millard
No.
00:53:12.10
wednesdayleefriday
He knows what it was like to be raised by a brash asshole and be associated with just fuckery and cruelty and and he knows how hard that is for kids and he did not care. and he does not care and my heart breaks to know that that's who he is because that could be who he was the whole time i really don't know maybe he was always a piece of shit and i just never knew i don't think so but the thing is if he used to be good and now he's this
00:53:45.37
wednesdayleefriday
then he's a fucking coward. And that's just as as tragic as it, I mean, I would much rather have been wrong all along than have it turn out that he is that much of a coward, that he would let himself get bullied into doing that to his children.
00:54:02.53
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:54:04.03
wednesdayleefriday
You know, they're not litigious, are they? It's probably okay that I'm saying this right.
00:54:08.05
Adam Millard
Yeah, no, of course it is. yeah It's America over there anyway.
00:54:14.27
wednesdayleefriday
Well, I mean, that the luckily for me, I really don't have anything like, oh, what if they take my house and card?
00:54:14.40
Adam Millard
Probably this is just in this country.
00:54:21.98
wednesdayleefriday
No, I think my most valuable possession is like an eight year old computer. So come at me, bro.
00:54:27.47
Adam Millard
no ah yeah i'm you un sure you know youre you I'm sure you're on his radar, um but but um not to the point where he's contemplating.
00:54:34.70
wednesdayleefriday
Oh, yeah, he knows who I am.
00:54:40.07
Adam Millard
um
00:54:41.93
wednesdayleefriday
Well, you know what's funny is I actually got invited to go on the podcast for his magazine, Field Ethos.
00:54:42.16
Adam Millard
yeah
00:54:48.48
wednesdayleefriday
This was like a year ago. I wrote to cancel my membership because he said some stupid fucking thing. And I was like, oh, I'm not giving him money anymore. No more money. And I canceled my subscription to his magazine and the editor in chief. emailed me and was like, uh, you don't have to tell me, but why did you subscribe to our magazine? Cause you know, in my email I have, you know, links in my signature for all the work I do, you know, sex writing and horror and whatever.
00:55:12.06
Adam Millard
Mm hmm. Yeah.
00:55:16.61
wednesdayleefriday
And so they're like, Who? What? And I explained, like, you know what, I was actually raised conservative. And I've always really liked Don Jr. I had a lot of respect for him. I thought he was brave and strong and honorable and, you know, all these things and whoops, I was incorrect.
00:55:33.90
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:55:36.42
wednesdayleefriday
and And I had you know enough back and forth with this guy that he was like, you should come on our podcast.
00:55:36.68
Adam Millard
At least you admit it.
00:55:42.47
wednesdayleefriday
And I'm like, no, I shouldn't. You don't want me on your podcast. Actually, I was kind of cowardly about it because I said that I would do it. And then I went on to explain why, no, of course they did not want me on their podcast because I think they're a bunch of GI Joe cosplayers fucking up gun culture. and and And I didn't hear back after that, so but but they kept sending me the magazine. and like I canceled it and they still sent it to me for free for like a year. They finally stopped when I posted on Twitter, stop sending me your magazine.
00:56:17.07
wednesdayleefriday
And yeah, so like the most recent issue is the first one I don't have. So yeah, if anybody wants to buy ah old issues of Field Ethos, I got them.
00:56:24.10
Adam Millard
ah send you my
00:56:27.65
wednesdayleefriday
I'll sign them.
00:56:29.02
Adam Millard
Don't you had but you have something signed by him?
00:56:32.17
wednesdayleefriday
Do I have something signed by him? Dude, I have at least 30 signed copies of of his books. I was collecting them. In fact, when I published the first Don Jr. book, the money that I made for that book all went toward Don Jr., memorabilia, and merch. i have Some of the shit I have is insane. I have like drinking cups with his dumb face on them.
00:56:50.04
Adam Millard
That might be worse than one day.
00:56:53.22
wednesdayleefriday
I have like all these old magazines of stories about them, bunch of signed books, t-shirts, seven or eight t-shirts, just a ridiculous amount. So yeah, I actually have a Secret Service Challenge Coin. Of, you know, the mountaineer, which is his secret service code name. I have one of those, which is a big deal here.
00:57:16.13
Adam Millard
That's scary, is what that is.
00:57:16.37
wednesdayleefriday
So.
00:57:20.21
Adam Millard
and
00:57:21.52
wednesdayleefriday
Honestly, if I was him, I would not be surprised to learn that I have an FBI file for for just that reason.
00:57:21.95
Adam Millard
yeah
00:57:29.24
wednesdayleefriday
I think my Twitter alone would be reason enough. for like but But if he ever found me like in his Instagram inbox, there was a period where I would just get high as a fucking kite at 3 AM m and just be like, you should turn your family in and run away. just like
00:57:43.76
Adam Millard
Wow.
00:57:46.00
wednesdayleefriday
I was so rooting for him to not get sucked into that like for it because i I really thought he was better. and i mean I didn't just think he was the smart one. I thought he was the nice one. like There used to be that stupid TV show and on that show, he seemed like someone who didn't like to hurt people's feelings. He seemed genuinely kind. which is oh my gosh I'm like getting upset right now fuck yeah it's embarrassing because it's a really emotional issue and I have like all these super strong feelings on it and unless people don't know who he is like anyone who knows who he is is just like what why
00:58:13.75
Adam Millard
Hmm. Oh.
00:58:31.49
Adam Millard
Hmm.
00:58:32.58
wednesdayleefriday
put But you're not an idiot. How could you possibly think that? And I'm like, I don't know.
00:58:36.79
Adam Millard
Yeah.
00:58:37.68
wednesdayleefriday
I started thinking it a long time ago and I just couldn't stop. but um But actually, this is the point of the show where you get to ask me a question if you want to.
00:58:50.72
Adam Millard
Oh, I haven't I haven't really got anything prepared.
00:58:57.26
wednesdayleefriday
Well, yeah
00:58:57.38
Adam Millard
Wow. Okay.
00:59:00.23
wednesdayleefriday
I'm not very interesting, so you know, that's that's fine too.
00:59:10.91
Adam Millard
have ah yeah Okay. yeah i've I've obviously, I've read your work and you were great gracious enough to send me your, you know, your, your, your collection of, uh, spidery stuff, spidery, stabby.
00:59:25.56
wednesdayleefriday
yeah Oh, what did I call it? Yeah, it's spidery, stabity. Wait, hang on. I have it.
00:59:32.68
Adam Millard
Stephanie spidery.
00:59:36.39
wednesdayleefriday
I don't know what it said. Yes, spitefully, spitefully, stabity, spidery stuff.
00:59:38.49
Adam Millard
Spoidery stuff,
00:59:41.08
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, I was going to call that collection 15 Shades of Day, but then I put more than 15 stories in it.
00:59:44.81
Adam Millard
Yeah, no. you That's what I was going to ask you, actually, where where the name came from for it. Because, I mean, the Spoidery thing, yeah, I get it. The stubby stuff. It's just, it's the alliteration that to it's it's a bit of a tongue twister.
01:00:07.81
wednesdayleefriday
It is. Well, and because like, stabity and spidery aren't really words, it's kind of hard to search for.
01:00:14.06
Adam Millard
Yeah.
01:00:14.26
wednesdayleefriday
I think that that should be a new rule for me that, uh, from now on, I'm only going to use real words in my, my book titles.
01:00:20.36
Adam Millard
No, no, that's the worst mistake. ah do You know, I've added more words to my dictionary this week. I feel like I'm teaching it seriously.
01:00:29.11
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah.
01:00:29.77
Adam Millard
And do you know what? That's what. Some most words didn't exist before Shakespeare. I'm just saying it's like You know, uh, so i'm i'm i'm doing my i'm doing a bit of a william shakespeare now i'm just making words up And hoping they stick because I mean oh
01:00:36.98
wednesdayleefriday
Oh yeah. Totally.
01:00:46.90
wednesdayleefriday
You have to. I mean, sometimes the English language, as much as a conglomerate as it is, it doesn't cover everything. I mean, how often do you hear a German word for something and say, that's brilliant. Why don't we have a word for that?
01:00:59.10
Adam Millard
I love it. I love it. I'm a big fan of etymology anyway, so um i i i I gather words and I i sort of eat every word and and learn it.
01:01:03.22
wednesdayleefriday
Mm hmm.
01:01:11.64
Adam Millard
and and so But when the Germans
01:01:12.74
wednesdayleefriday
So let me ask you this, have you considered writing your own language for a book?
01:01:21.96
Adam Millard
Ugh, nah, that's just, that's gotta take, I mean, Tolkien was a madman, I mean, yeah I could never.
01:01:26.82
wednesdayleefriday
It's like, it's like too much, right? Yeah. Now I'll tell you, I, cause I've, I've toyed with that and at one point, because I learned Dothraki when Game of Thrones was like super huge, I just learned Dothraki for fun, which is stupid because no one speaks it. But um I did it just because I was really interested in the language and my husband bought me some books from the Language Creation Society. And I must have been on a manic tear because I was all like, OK, well, I'm doing this.
01:01:58.52
wednesdayleefriday
I'm going to have this family of cannibals and they're all going to have bad mouth diseases and that's going to affect their language. And and I'm going to make up a language like I had all these ideas. and ah And and no, it's it's an enormous endeavor that ah
01:02:13.11
Adam Millard
yeah
01:02:14.75
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, like it it just turned out to be too huge for me.
01:02:15.09
Adam Millard
i
01:02:17.51
wednesdayleefriday
But then, then another writer I know, Scott Sigler, who I i did went to undergrad with, he said he has been using AI to do language creation.
01:02:25.19
Adam Millard
Yeah. Yeah.
01:02:29.45
wednesdayleefriday
And to me, that's a valid use of AI. Now, I certainly don't agree with using AI to write anything that you're going to publish, but I'm thinking
01:02:38.80
Adam Millard
Yeah.
01:02:39.91
wednesdayleefriday
kind of borderline if you're talking about creating a whole language to use within a work of fiction.
01:02:45.55
Adam Millard
Yeah, because it's you're using it more as ah as a tool rather than, and it's not actually an English, you know, sentence that it's putting it together.
01:02:49.58
wednesdayleefriday
who
01:02:56.07
Adam Millard
So yeah, no, I could i could see how that might be an acceptable use for AI. Definitely. yeah
01:03:01.96
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, so I got that on the back burner right now, but I love that as a concept.
01:03:06.56
Adam Millard
yeah wow i used to create languages as a as a kid like you know so that we could talk about mom mom behind her back you know because like
01:03:15.11
wednesdayleefriday
freely.
01:03:16.32
Adam Millard
Yeah, like me me and my brother used to make make languages up just so that only us knew what what we were saying. like It used to be something stupid like we'd just change letters here and there and I'm sure it was pretty. yeah It wasn't like you didn't need the enigma, you know, machine. You didn't have to be Alan Turing to figure out what we were probably saying as seven-year-old children but um But yeah, to so think about creating a whole language, that's a massive undertaking.
01:03:49.15
wednesdayleefriday
Right.
01:03:49.16
Adam Millard
sir
01:03:49.93
wednesdayleefriday
So daunting. But yet, I mean, how satisfying would that be if you can actually pull it off, right?
01:03:52.55
Adam Millard
Oh yeah, that would be wonderful.
01:03:57.23
wednesdayleefriday
And then like, you know, have it become part of the greater lexicon. So idiots like me would learn it just for fun. That, I mean, I can't even imagine making that kind of contribution to the zeitgeist. That's just way too huge, right?
01:04:10.11
Adam Millard
That would be amazing. I'd learn that language. Definitely.
01:04:15.67
wednesdayleefriday
All right, well, speaking of the zeitgeist, man, it's time for the mad lib. Are you ready for this?
01:04:20.51
Adam Millard
No, um um yeah sure
01:04:24.21
wednesdayleefriday
Do you you do bad libs?
01:04:24.60
Adam Millard
good
01:04:25.54
wednesdayleefriday
Is is this a thing where you are?
01:04:26.77
Adam Millard
it's not really a thing in this country. and We do... ah
01:04:35.21
Adam Millard
I don't know. We do poker. me do but yeah We Yeah.
01:04:38.96
wednesdayleefriday
See, no, like Mad Libs is party game for smart people and people who love words. So it is the perfect game for writers. Um, so you know how this works, right? I'm going to tell you a bunch of parts of speech and then you give me the words and I fill them into this thing and then it makes a story and I read it. So that's how it works.
01:04:57.45
Adam Millard
Okay.
01:04:58.21
wednesdayleefriday
All right. So start with, uh, I need two nouns.
01:05:03.78
Adam Millard
two nouns uh we'll go with since it's you we'll go with dildo and uh light bulb i don't
01:05:23.22
wednesdayleefriday
because I'm so bright, I get it. All right, so I need a couple of plural nouns. Let's see, one, two, o two plural nouns.
01:05:36.82
Adam Millard
Oh.
01:05:41.99
Adam Millard
This is not going to be good.
01:05:46.30
wednesdayleefriday
Okay, I'm ready.
01:05:47.94
Adam Millard
It's OK, it's OK.
01:05:51.95
Adam Millard
You know, like when I just said that I was really good at eating words.
01:05:58.82
wednesdayleefriday
yeah
01:06:00.02
Adam Millard
um
01:06:00.32
wednesdayleefriday
Well, you know, for nouns, I mean, people just look around the room and and say nouns, so that's always allowed.
01:06:07.19
Adam Millard
um it's okay uh uh let's say party um this is gonna be so bad uh
01:06:14.49
wednesdayleefriday
Plus, I cut out the long pauses in post, so don't worry about those.
01:06:40.82
Adam Millard
very parties or party babies.
01:06:47.02
wednesdayleefriday
Okay,
01:06:47.78
Adam Millard
and i
01:06:49.51
wednesdayleefriday
okay I need adjectives. I need one, two adjectives.
01:06:55.87
Adam Millard
Two adjectives. um Let's go smelly and
01:07:18.05
Adam Millard
This is one of those long pauses.
01:07:20.27
wednesdayleefriday
Right?
01:07:20.75
Adam Millard
um
01:07:23.87
Adam Millard
Slippery, I might as well.
01:07:26.69
wednesdayleefriday
Slippery. All right. Now I need a place. We should probably put Wolverhampton because I love that word and that's where you're from, right?
01:07:34.69
Adam Millard
Wolverhampton, yes. and No, I was from Wolverhampton.
01:07:40.40
Adam Millard
Yeah, I moved. Moved to Stoke.
01:07:45.95
wednesdayleefriday
Stoke?
01:07:46.97
Adam Millard
Stoke.
01:07:48.41
wednesdayleefriday
Nice.
01:07:49.07
Adam Millard
Stoke on Trent.
01:07:49.74
wednesdayleefriday
All right. I need a verb ending in ing.
01:07:55.64
Adam Millard
A verb, I-N-G. ah Let's go with...
01:08:12.11
wednesdayleefriday
See, I think this game is harder for writers because writers feel compelled to come up with better words.
01:08:15.16
Adam Millard
It is, it is. um
01:08:24.33
Adam Millard
Comparing. We are comparing, maybe.
01:08:28.81
wednesdayleefriday
Okay. And okay. So it's going to want a couple of parts of the body, two plural and three singular. So a bunch.
01:08:40.27
Adam Millard
um
01:08:41.06
wednesdayleefriday
And this is not a kid show. So anything goes.
01:08:43.47
Adam Millard
two Two plural parts of the body.
01:08:46.20
wednesdayleefriday
Uh-huh.
01:08:48.83
Adam Millard
OK. Kidneys. We'll go kidneys.
01:08:54.82
wednesdayleefriday
Okay.
01:08:55.09
Adam Millard
a
01:08:58.82
Adam Millard
um
01:09:02.93
Adam Millard
Elbows.
01:09:06.12
wednesdayleefriday
All right, and three singular part of the body.
01:09:08.99
Adam Millard
Oh, OK. This is crazy. You've got to put an I in, definitely. um
01:09:20.68
wednesdayleefriday
Okay.
01:09:21.97
Adam Millard
I ah testicle and pinky
01:09:29.57
wednesdayleefriday
All right.
01:09:35.69
Adam Millard
finger.
01:09:39.18
wednesdayleefriday
All right, I need a color and an adverb.
01:09:43.57
Adam Millard
purple. Let's go with breathlessly.
01:09:59.90
Adam Millard
If this makes any sense, it's all on me.
01:10:00.45
wednesdayleefriday
All right. Well, it's not supposed to. It's a mad lib.
01:10:04.94
Adam Millard
Oh, that that's where the night comes from.
01:10:05.50
wednesdayleefriday
It should be mental. Right, exactly.
01:10:09.22
Adam Millard
Okay.
01:10:10.38
wednesdayleefriday
It's not about liberals at all. It's just, you know, mad lib. So this is entitled, Why Do Skunks Smell?
01:10:20.90
wednesdayleefriday
Surprisingly, a skunk is a friendly dildo who can make a smelly household pet. See, you did one that works.
01:10:27.98
Adam Millard
It doesn't work.
01:10:30.02
wednesdayleefriday
But what makes these parties smell to the high Wolverhampton? The skunk has sent babies that contain a slippery smelling fluid.
01:10:40.18
Adam Millard
That
01:10:43.26
wednesdayleefriday
what When attacked,
01:10:43.74
Adam Millard
works. well
01:10:48.32
wednesdayleefriday
the skunk aims this smelly light bulb at its enemies. But this not but the skunk does give warning before comparing. It raises its eye first or stamps its kidneys so that you can run away as fast as your elbows can carry you. The most breathlessly recognizable skunk is a purple one with a line on its testicle and another line between its pinky finger and its ears. See? Irreverent.
01:11:22.72
Adam Millard
Wow.
01:11:23.89
wednesdayleefriday
Right?
01:11:24.95
Adam Millard
That was amazing. I like the way it did the thing with the kidneys.
01:11:31.06
wednesdayleefriday
yeah
01:11:32.70
Adam Millard
That's pretty much what I've been doing to mine. ah
01:11:34.75
wednesdayleefriday
Before Covid, when I was having parties all the time, we played tons and tons of Mad Libs. And yeah, they're always I mean, because that's the thing. You can play Mad Libs with a room full of kids or a room full of perverts. And it's equally funny any time it.
01:11:48.17
Adam Millard
It's as fun, yeah.
01:11:49.17
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, does not matter, dude. I am.
01:11:51.61
Adam Millard
that's That's something that we need to play more than in this country.
01:11:55.60
wednesdayleefriday
I agree.
01:11:55.81
Adam Millard
and
01:11:57.10
wednesdayleefriday
Well, especially now that we know because of the internet, how poor a lot of people's grammar is, we could we could do a lot better with that and Mad Libs could help.
01:12:06.91
Adam Millard
Yeah, definitely. good way of It's a good way of teaching kids as well, I suppose.
01:12:10.77
wednesdayleefriday
Yes. Well, if it's fun, I mean, that's how you make people learn things.
01:12:11.49
Adam Millard
different
01:12:14.73
wednesdayleefriday
You make it fun. That's why everybody watches YouTube now.
01:12:17.96
Adam Millard
Oh, yeah.
01:12:20.39
wednesdayleefriday
Dude, I am so glad that you could be here.
01:12:20.78
Adam Millard
Oh,
01:12:22.79
wednesdayleefriday
I'm really thrilled that we were able to have this conversation.
01:12:25.00
Adam Millard
ah yeah, me too. I mean, I've i it's just flown by. So it's that's when you know, you know, it's been it's been great. So, yeah, no, I'm glad that we finally got to do it. I know we were supposed to do it a couple of weeks ago, but certain things got in the way a couple of months ago, wasn't it? really The first series.
01:12:44.00
wednesdayleefriday
Um, well, yeah, the first season, uh, we had to take a couple of weeks off because our, uh, our provider kind of conked out on us and that, that sucked, but we're with Zencaster dial and they're doing right by us.
01:12:53.47
Adam Millard
yeah this seems like it seems like a decent platform right too yeah
01:12:54.44
wednesdayleefriday
I got no complaints. Um.
01:12:58.54
wednesdayleefriday
Yeah, it is. It is. It's only a little more expensive than what we were paying before, but to just have it work when I need it, it's totally worth it. um ah This is when I remind everybody that the Mentally Adcast is sponsored by our magazine, Sometimes Hilarious Horror, and you can find us on ko-fi if you want to support us, and we hope you will. um So thanks to Adam and thanks to everybody for listening. We're going to see everybody next week.
Find Adam Millard here:
www.adam-millard.com
X - @adammillard
Audio Podcast can be found here.
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